Just bought a house & getting married in 9 days! Any Advice?

[forumname]

Except he is borrowing a mortgage

Ya, that's bad enough, but one thing at a time at least! No credit card debt, and no car payments! (one of the silliest things a person can do in my opinion).

[Big Ev]

Ya, that's bad enough, but one thing at a time at least! No credit card debt, and no car payments! (one of the silliest things a person can do in my opinion).

its not bad, it's necessary, and screw renting. But yeah, credit card debt should never happen.

[Shoeless]

I think a mortgage is in a category of asset building if you borrow and buy right, so that would be one of my few exceptions, Big Ev.

[sasquatch]

Some very sound advice here, I got married in February, been together about 7 years now, lived together for 5.5, we're saving hard for a deposit now. I find it's hard finding that balance of trying to save every penny and still having a life. What good is money if you can't at least have a bit if fun every now and then.

Whoever said take her out for dinner from time to time is 100% right, and that doesn't mean, where do your want to go? That's fine occasionally... It means being a man and booking a place in advance, take charge, women LOVE that sort of thing. make her feel like a princess everyday, but make time for yourself too, be selfish, you can't make her happy if you're not.
The pick your battles thing is something I've only recently learnt, we use to squabble about such asinine things, there no point in getting riled up over dishes or washing.

That's all the advice I've got at the moment.

Thanks OP for the thread, and thanks for all the advice guys!

[Nights]

I think a mortgage is in a category of asset building if you borrow and buy right, so that would be one of my few exceptions, Big Ev.

Mortgage and Student Loans are probably the two most valuable investments you normally have to borrow for (edit : or better worded, the two loans that are the most acceptable to take on). The rest is mostly going to be best off putting a target in mind and saving it in advance. One will always need a shelter (and while the rent vs buy debate will always be there, buying does lead to having a piece of real estate and a roof above your head) and education is a short term investment for a long term gain of knowledge (hopefully in a way that helps the salary).

Of course, one should still be weary of whether or not they are financially sound enough to support a mortgage, but that's for the house buyer to figure out.

[forumname]

its not bad, it's necessary, and screw renting. But yeah, credit card debt should never happen.

True, not always bad - but hardly necessary. Depends who you are and what you value I guess. While paying rent isn't ideal, not being tied down to a location is amazing. I would rather rent a slum until I can afford to buy a house with cash than buy a house with mortgage payments that barely let me keep my head above water (like so many do). It will be a cold day in hell before I sign my life away with a 5% down payment on a house 4 times bigger than what I need (again, like so many do).

[Big Ev]

True, not always bad - but hardly necessary. Depends who you are and what you value I guess. While paying rent isn't ideal, not being tied down to a location is amazing. I would rather rent a slum until I can afford to buy a house with cash than buy a house with mortgage payments that barely let me keep my head above water (like so many do). It will be a cold day in hell before I sign my life away with a 5% down payment on a house 4 times bigger than what I need (again, like so many do).

Sorry, meant necessary if you are set on buying, even though my opinion is screw renting Renting is good if you want to move around a lot, you're right.

I Wouldn't buy without 20% down. People say you should go max 3 times your salary for a mortgage, but I think that's unrealistic

[Bomm Bastic]

Owning a home is seldom an investment, long term. Renting you keep so much more disposable income that can in turn be re-invested (if your are disciplined enough).

That said, the lady and I have our home now 6 yrs and love it. I've always want a big yard and lots of garden (veggie and flowers) that I just get absolutely lost in over the weekends. My decompression time.

Do yourself a favor....gets used to paying $100 over-and-above the mortgage each month. You'll find you won't even notice it missing, and the amount it reduces the term of the loan is worth it. Trust me.

[Daydream Nation]

In no particular order

#1 Keep separate checking accounts. Split up bills and come up with a savings plan. Make savings goals and prioritize spending.
#2 Don't feel the need to fill up the house. My wife and I bought a house and doubled our size this past March. We still have an empty dining room and basement.
#3 Like others have said, paint before you move in. It is so much easier without furniture.
#4 Don't pay extra on your mortgage. Whatever else you would pay on top of your mortgage, save in mutual fund. It should grow at a faster rater than your mortgage rate.
#5 Pay close attention on spending on what you need versus what you want.
#6 Make friends with you neighbors. This is especially important since you are living in a townhouse and are sharing walls. If problems come up, it is much easier to get cooperation from your neighbors if you are coming from a background of friendship. And maybe friendship is not necessary but it definitely pays to be friendly.
#7 Consider joining your townhouse association board. I lived in a townhouse for 8 years and was a member of the board for the last 4. You end up learning so much about your by-laws and you will be a more educated neighbor. Plus, you will be more influential and powerful if you have any special interests or issues that arise.
#8 Think about resell value when you make home improvements.

That's all that comes to mind off the top of my head. Good luck and congrats.

[Nights]

#4 Don't pay extra on your mortgage. Whatever else you would pay on top of your mortgage, save in mutual fund. It should grow at a faster rater than your mortgage rate.

All depends on the persons investment profile/tolerance for risk. While not paying down your debt faster and investing it if you can find a higher return (Despite risk) is an option, it shouldn't be the rule of thumb. Some people also would sit more comfortably with a debt disappearing faster then having debt on top of having to cover for a return (I mean, if you consider a real return, you have to do, in this man's case, 3.05% + inflation rate in a return just to beat it). Lots of people dream of the day when that mortgage is finally over. The piece of mind can be worth more then the gains you could make.

That said, he shouldn't neglect any kind of longer term savings (compound interest, baby!). Just that the decision between putting a bit more against the debt or a bit more against savings can depend from person to person - especially if the option you're going to suggest are mutual funds rather then the safer, more consistent, well-built index fund portfolios.

Not to mention some people aren't financially savvy enough to be able to buy and hold, and might panic at the flick of the market, and dig themselves a hole :P

[Bomm Bastic]

Funny...I always find those advocating not paying off your loan/mortgage early are either bankers, 401k fund managers or some other conflicted source of info.

Pay the mortgage off early. At $1,000 extra principle payment per year you'll cut that 30yr into a 15 yr. Then you can invest what was your mortgage payment into a mutual fund (even half) and rapidly make up that lost $50/month in no time.

Not to mention no one will foreclose on your house if you miss a mutual fund payment due to injury, illness, or job loss.

lol...I am amazed at how some people embrace debt.

[Gentle Yeti]

CONGRATS BRO, happy marriage is a spiritual experience. I love my wife to death.

Forgiveness - because holding a grudge will only eat you away on the inside and whatever you're mad at her about probably isn't worth not compromising the whole scope of your relationship. Most things we fight about aren't worth exploding our relationship, right? I totally agree with the previous post that said you can go to bed angry - more often than not, the argument will be less heated with some time and distance.
Similar goals - life is so much easier when you act as a team and acknowledge it to each other. Find things you have in common, especially some more altruistic ones, and map out a strategy to make those happen. Couples that are caught up in a grander plan are much more cohesive than couples that are "winging it", anecdotally speaking.
Appreciation - this is twofold-- first, take time to really realize how much your wife means to you and how lucky you are to have her. It's cheesy, but really I think the divorce problem usually starts with one or both parties allowing a "grass is greener" symptom to start growing in their hearts. Dude, seriously, there is no greener grass, In 99% of cases. Other side - make sure she knows it.
Small moments - Once you start having kids (we have three) you have to be efficient with your romance, so to speak. 10 hour lovemaking session? Dude we are lucky if we get to kiss for five seconds before something or someone explodes in the house. There is nothing that makes me feel worse than telling my wife I love her, and having her say "then why didn't you hug or kiss me or tell me I'm pretty even once today?" Find little ways to keep connected--when you pass in the kitchen, kiss or hug or say "damn you're gorgeous", a little will go a long way.
Love language - learn what her "love language" is and practice it. There are five - words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. If she is a quality time person and you're always buying her big ass gifts, it's not going to do much. If she needs words of affirmation but you're trying to show her love doing the dishes and helping with the kids, that won't go far. Everyone is unique. Study her and apply.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm tired.

[Daydream Nation]

Funny...I always find those advocating not paying off your loan/mortgage early are either bankers, 401k fund managers or some other conflicted source of info.

Pay the mortgage off early. At $1,000 extra principle payment per year you'll cut that 30yr into a 15 yr. Then you can invest what was your mortgage payment into a mutual fund (even half) and rapidly make up that lost $50/month in no time.

Not to mention no one will foreclose on your house if you miss a mutual fund payment due to injury, illness, or job loss.

lol...I am amazed at how some people embrace debt.

I never said not to pay off your mortgage early. It's going to take years to pay off your mortgage. Over the number of years it takes to pay your mortgage you should easily beat the 3%-4% of your mortgage by investing your money. Take that extra money you are going to pay for principal every month and invest. Build your portfolio. When the day comes, pay off your mortgage. Besides, this is Dooley's starter home. What is the difference when he moves if the money is sitting in a mutual fund or if it's in the equity of his home?

[One87]

Another add... What has worked well for myself and my wife is we never discuss problems just before work, while one is at work or just after.

If there is a tough topic, one of us will ask the other if he or she is venting OR if he or she is looking for a resolution? You'd be surprised how many arguments can be prevented by knowing which is taking place.

If you have a disagreement or split that may get ugly, close it quickly. Don't go to bed angry at each other. What works for my wife and me is comedy. We always find a way to make the other laugh so we don't stay mad for long. That leads to a lot of...well, it rhymes with "X".

[keytolife]

As a European i still can´t believe the fact that in North America it is common to move together after the wedding and not testing it out prior. Since living together creates 99% of all potential fights in a relationship i can see why the divorce rate you got is that high. Better test it our before!

But anyway let´s not be pesimistic, i just had this on my mind for a long time. I´m 100% sure you will live happy together after the first disputes. One just needs to get used to it.

For furniture IKEA is def. a good spot to get the basics cheap, just get used to the stuff not being good for 5 years plus