file under: meanderings of a feeble mind
Had a dream the other night in which I won $25k in the NY State Lottery, and decided to purchase and completely refurbish the Atlanta Thrashers in an attempt to make them a market force. First, I know what you all are thinking - $25k to purchase to Thrashers? I know...I overpaid. What can I say, it was a dream - they're not always rational.
But, I digress...
Days following got me to thinking: What would I do? Who would I hire? What would it be like to own a team and employ whomever my heart so desired? Why, w/all the money leftover after the sale (actual purchase price was $5k) I could pursue any whimsical fancy I so desired. I would have absolute power to hire employ any individual at any position.
My team and my fantasy, biznitches...deal.
So I immediately thought I should focus only on the recruitment of the executive committee and coaching personnel. They would have power to hire/fire as they see fit, run the entire operations so that I could relax, attend the games drunk off my rocker, and be free of mind w/out worrying about a damn thing. Afterall, Mark Cuban does...why the hell can't I?
But that lead me to another problem: Where the hell do I find a group of miscreants such as I, utterly devoid of life outside of hockey - addicts, if you will?
Well, duh! The answer hit me immediately. The Dobber forums of course! Using a combination of your avatars and posts as my guide, I believe I have been able to gain keen insight into the differing personalities and bank of knowledge contained therein, enough so to make my selections. The executive committee and support staff have the power to add any additional players personnel I may have overlooked. Any member not specifically named is assumed to be sitting in my section of the arena drinking w/me during the game (wendel, fungchen, playmaker, etc...)
Actually, anyone can join in, but be creative. Current/former players, politicians, celebrities, historical figures are all fair game, but you have to provide a reason if not obvious. Like Sidney Crosby's captaincy of the Ice Girl Squad really needs no explanation.
Last, I tried to stay away from Dobber and his management crew because they need to focus on this site. We need to get our recruiting info from somewhere!
So without further adieu, I present:
Bomm Bastic's Ultimate NHL Team
*Team Name: Peter North Stars
*(borrowed from a team in my league, I just had to it's so awesome)
Executive Committee
OWNER:Bomm Bostic - we covered this part, pay attention stoners.
MANAGING PARTNER: Shoeless - the only guy I know that has the patience and insight to keep the inmates from running the asylum
CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER: HorrorFan - cuz nobody f***s w/Pinhead, 'nuff said.
CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER: HockeyPoolGeek - the numbers guy
EXECUTIVE BODYGUARDS (protect my investments): Chicleteur & Smack - c'mon walking around w/Vadar and a Siberian tiger??? If that doesn't get the chicks, nuthin' will.
HOCKEY PERSONNEL
GENERAL MANAGER: AgentZero - By default, the only guy with a tie in his wardrobe in this motley crew. Got the legal mind too.
Director of Scouting: Lanky522 - guy just has a f-in photographic memory re all that is lineups, stats, development, etc
PRO SCOUT : Shakedown - a team full of Blackhawks can't be all bad, right?
AMATURE SCOUT : Justin Goldman - for goalies, anyway
AMATURE SCOUT - Bill Clinton (different type of amatures...wink-wink-nudge-nudge)
COACHING
Head Coach : Metaldude: combination of attitude and savvy mind. Reads people and players...guy can talk an Inuit into buying a freezer. In fact, I bet he could talk Tim Connolly to skate into a corner and check a mother-f*****....he's THAT good.
Assistant Coach: Mister_McGoo: Knows what's up, tells it like it is, and players need a guy to have a post-game beer with.
Assistant Coach: GMGates - the strategist
Assistant Coach: Elvis - purely for inspirational purposes (and the occasional song during commercial timeouts - better than that f-ing organ player)
Strength & Conditioning Coach: Atomic_Wedgy - should make for unique training sessions. Anyone caught whining would be dealt with in the appropriate manner
PUBLIC and MEDIA RELATIONS
Co-Chairs: NYR and Sentium - should adequately reflect ownership's attitude, and I hate the f-ing media.
TEAM DOCTOR
Doctor Robz - assuming the avatar actually holds the M.D. distinction...or not...who cares about the degree.
ICE GIRL RECRUITMENT
Co-Chairs: Joos, Renegade and Clinkers - figure that out for yourselves.
PLAYERS
?????
1st Line:
2nd Line:
3rd Line:
4th Line:
Defense:
Golaies:
That's all I got. If you've read this far, thanks for humoring me.
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Bomm Bastic’s Ultimate NHL Team
Originally Posted by mister_mcgoo
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