5th year keeper league requires 1 new manager

[someguy]

The Pond Hockey Keeper League, currently in its fifth year of existence, currently has one opening. Our league has a great group of dedicated and knowledgable managers and we are currently conducting our annual player draft. Our draft is being conducted via email through our group page so any potential manager would have to be able to access the internet throughout the day and be prepared to make their selections within reasonable time limits. We keep 6 players from year to year with no limits on how long players can be kept. We also have prospect rosters that can be used to stock our main rosters. We use Yahoo! Fantasy Hockey to track our league stats using the following categories: goals, assists, +/-, PIM, GWG, wins, GAA, save %, shutouts. The lucky manager that gets the coveted spot in our league will be inheriting a team with 6 solid keepers, a complete prospect roster, and the first two rounds of this year\'s draft completed.

If this league is of interest to you, and you are willing to make a LONGTERM (ie. several year) committment, then please email with a reasonably detailed fantasy \"resume\" that outlines your fantasy experience, highlights your knowledge of hockey in general, and displays your committment level.

Thanks,

Dan ([email protected])
Pond Hockey Keeper League

[Shoeless]

Dear Pond Hockey League

Regretfully I will decline to apply to manage in your league. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity and a heck of a league. However, in my new found passion for self-honesty I have come to terms with the fact that I do not meet your criteria.

While I have bona fide experiences with some of the elite of the hockey world - none of them really added to my understanding of the game. As a primary school student in Flin Flon, my Mom used to make me walk some snot-nosed brat to kindergarten on my way to school cause she was friends with his mom - his name was Bobby Clarke. He taught me zero about the game as his great joy at the time was kicking dogs and throwing rocks at cars. Later on in Ottawa, I attended elementary school with Ron Ellis - we used to play street football with him because we felt sorry for him - he really sucked at it and the guys his age wouldn\'t let him play - again zero learning other than social work skills. Many years later, Mike Modano dated my daughter when he was playing Juniors with the PA Raiders - he was billeted with a family on our street. You date my daughter, there is no way I am much interested in hearing hockey stories from you - I want to know if you know how to keep your hands (sic) in your pockets.

So by this time, I reckon you figured out I am pretty old, so a long term committment to a league is not something that I could assure you of. Man, I could keel over tomorrow and where would that leave you?

I do have a lot of fantasy hockey experience and with considerable success but I must admit that success comes from leagues I am the commissioner of. It is so easy to pull the wool over guys eyes. I won\'t go so far as to say I cheat, but bent rules might have just a little to do with my placings in leagues over the years.

There is another issue too, it would seem your league is just for glory but no cash. Well, I really need to opportunity to pick up some extra coin - my wife is not well and in need of some expensive medication and now my mistress is getting cranky about me not spending enough time with her when I am doing fantasy hockey, and the only way I can shut her up is to buy her things. So, cash is kinda an important factor in my entering a league.

Anyway, the real purpose of my note was to say thanks so much for opening up this opportunity, but as much as I want to join you guys - I think I am not a good fit. Hope you find someone and have a great season!