Middle age and mortality

[Axeman33]

Next week is big for me - colonoscopy. I'm overdue, as I'm 53. But I also have already had two of them due to family history and my own issues, the most recent being in 2010. I did Cologuard and it was negative so I'm not especially worried, but you never know. And with my son having Crohns and my dad Ulcerative colitis there is a chance I somehow have developed IBD later in life. I'm still annoyed that the first time I used a prep which was so easy and not disgusting that it spoiled me, and they ended up taking it off the market due to kidney function risks in seniors. Now I'm stuck with the awful stuff. Oh well - I just have to focus on getting through it.

Cant they check that now with bloodwork and if something irregular comes back, then they do the scope?

[Feenom]

Cant they check that now with bloodwork and if something irregular comes back, then they do the scope?

Or the FIT? Send you it in the mail, sample your fecalness then send it back. Results in 1 to 2 weeks. Not sure if it was mentioned. Good luck RD

[RizzeeDizzee]

Or the FIT? Send you it in the mail, sample your fecalness then send it back. Results in 1 to 2 weeks. Not sure if it was mentioned. Good luck RD

This is what I meant when I said "Cologuard." It is said to be 85% accurate, which is pretty good, but not determinative. Plus, my family history of IBD makes it imperative that I get the real deal. I do think that someday you'll be able to swallow something which by the time it gets to your "guts" can provide a visual; however, the big key with an actual colonoscopy is they can (a) get samples in order to do a biopsy, and/or (b) actually treat anything that looks concerning. So it's diagnostic, but also allows for access to the area if need be, which will never be replicable.

[ross10019]

Ok so I don’t want to make this thread weird, but I do know a lot of happy people who pray. Scientifically, there’s lots of data that depressed people don’t live as long, and cancer patients who need antidepressant meds don’t do as well as those like ChuckCouples who enjoy both fantasy and reality. I’m 70. I’ve told my adult children that I’ve had a wonderful life, whether it ends tomorrow or in 25 more years, and my advice to them?? Three short suggestions - do your best, tell the truth, sleep at night. Nagging regrets only drag you down.

Totally agree - but rather than “prayer” which has the religious connotations, I think an emphasis every morning upon waking, and every night in bed, on reflecting on gratitude. Saying thank you in your head to your loved ones, the people who have been a positive influence in your life and helped you cope and hopefully thrive, your spouse, etc. Goes a very long way for sure to counter the bad thoughts, regrets, worries, all of which are so stressful and damaging.

I also occasionally will re-read certain books - like Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, or Unbroken, Stockdale’s book, all about people persevering through adversity much much worse than anything most of us can imagine. Gives perspective.

[ross10019]

By the way I just came out of a “Dry Q1” - ended up finishing at 75 days (couldn’t get to 90 due to work trips) but the alcohol-free, combined with daily simple core body weight workout (pushups, sit-ups, squats, like 15-20 mins), and this 55-year old body/mind benefited tremendously. I’m definitely doing that every Q1, and contemplating doing it every Q3 as well! I highly recommended, amazing the impact it had on frame of mind, let alone fitness level and physique.

[tweetdrivr]

I find myself reciting Kabir’s poem “Friend Hope for the Guest while you are Alive” in those moments of reflection. Good stuff.

[Belexus75]

Cant they check that now with bloodwork and if something irregular comes back, then they do the scope?

Does not work like that. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer at 63 i believe took 6 months of treatments + surgery and he has been cancer free for 20 years but initially had 50% chance of survival. Surgeon told my dad that it was growing in him for about 15 years and blood work didnt show anything till about 3 moths prior to diagnosis.

Once that happened i was told to get tested at the time and i was only 30 when i did it first time. I had it done 4 times now most recently less than a year ago.

[StuntMan12]

I'm 35 and have had quite a few people around me recently start passing away. It got me thinking...I been so wrapped up in only work. Looking around, you realize the important things in life have no monetary value. Cherish the moments with the people who love because you never know when you may lose that. Checking on your friends/family once in awhile is always good. That's one thing I wish I done more of earlier.

[everfeb]

I'm 35 and have had quite a few people around me recently start passing away. It got me thinking...I been so wrapped up in only work. Looking around, you realize the important things in life have no monetary value. Cherish the moments with the people who love because you never know when you may lose that. Checking on your friends/family once in awhile is always good. That's one thing I wish I done more of earlier.

"Checking on your friends/family once in awhile is always good." Yes it is. They'd love to know they are still thought of and not forgotten.

[blayze]

"Checking on your friends/family once in awhile is always good." Yes it is. They'd love to know they are still thought of and not forgotten.

This is a big one that I'm sure most (if not all) of us are guilty of. So easy to get bogged down in day to day stuff.

Visit your parents. Check in on your siblings. And above all, spend time with your kids.

[RizzeeDizzee]

Speaking of parents, we are very much the sandwich generation right now, often having a situation where by the time you send kids to college your parents need help, all while we are likely at the peaks of our careers, busier than ever. It can be very difficult.

I'm fortunate to have both my parents alive, but they are 85 and 88. One big issue is driving, as my father had an accident and his capability behind the wheel is iffy at best. But otherwise they are still independent, so taking their car away would be problematic. He had agreed to take an assessment course, but had to cancel and now the wait time is almost 6 months. I take solace in the fact that his car has all the latest safety bells and whistles, but I still worry.

I also want to try and stay involved in their lives as much as I can while they're still here, but I also don't want to feel lost when they're gone. I try to strike a balance.

[blayze]

I'm living the "sandwich" as we speak... much worse than the situation you describe where at least the kids have gone to college so you can focus on being caregiver to your parents only.

I've got a 2 and 3 year old, while my mom who's going on 80 just moved in with us because she can't live independently anymore (she's not a "young" 80 like some others, but rather frail and myriad of health issues). It's been tough, and what sucks is it only gets tougher - at least with respect to the parents aging. My wife is the real hero in all this... she's the most patient person I know.

With asians, we're taught since birth to honor and take care of our parents under our roofs - we don't believe in "shipping our parents off to retirement homes" which is taboo.

[StuntMan12]

This is a big one that I'm sure most (if not all) of us are guilty of. So easy to get bogged down in day to day stuff.

Visit your parents. Check in on your siblings. And above all, spend time with your kids.

One thing I find myself falling victim to is not touching base with people I know are at risk. I have the tendency to see everyone around me as 'above me', as a result you fail to realize that many people actually look up to you for guidance and support. A simple 'how are you doing?' will go a long way with anyone.

A guy I knew recently passed away from substances and I knew he had that problem but hadn't chatted since the summer. Feel bad over it.

[senryu]

One thing I find myself falling victim to is not touching base with people I know are at risk. I have the tendency to see everyone around me as 'above me', as a result you fail to realize that many people actually look up to you for guidance and support. A simple 'how are you doing?' will go a long way with anyone.

A guy I knew recently passed away from substances and I knew he had that problem but hadn't chatted since the summer. Feel bad over it.

One thing that's helped me with this is Wordle and Immaculate Grid. I do Wordle and text my results with my brother and sister each day and they do the same with me. I do the same with baseball Grid with my oldest friends. Daily communication, even on silly little games, has certainly opened the spigot leading to more communication about what's going on in our lives.