The perfect fantasy hockey format (sickly long)

[fungchen3]

Hello all. I did not know where to put this, so I put it here. This is crazy long, but I wanted to share my take with other crazy hockey nuts...

I remember it like it was yesterday. A Saturday afternoon in late-September 1991 – The day I was introduced to something that would ultimately add countless hours of enjoyment to my existence: Fantasy Hockey.

While it may sound a bit extreme, there I was – a 16-year old hockey fan since birth – sitting around an eat-in kitchen table, gripping a recent copy of The Sporting News Hockey Yearbook with Super Mario on the cover. Next to me were five other hockey-mad bodies – each holding their own copies of the sacred book which included stats, information and awesome photos of hockey’s best – huddled around the table like Conn Smythe and the Norris Brothers in the movie Net Worth.

It was my very first fantasy hockey draft and I was awarded (given) the last pick in the first round (6th) because I was the youngest of the group. However, due to the fortune of the later-termed Snake Draft, I was able to select two quality forwards back-to-back: Pierre Turgeon and Joe Sakic. And while I missed out on the true pool heavies numbered 99 and 66, I did well for myself that rookie season, placing runner-up to the champ.

Fast forward to 1994 – the year I commissioned my very own fantasy league – a league my hockey buds (and even my mom) participate in today. Starting a league back in the day was quite different than the leagues housed today on internet mega-sites like CBS, Yahoo, ESPN and PoolExpert. There were no mock drafts, no player projections, no injury reports, no nightly line-up changes, and no place like the Dobber.com message boards to nest with fellow poolies and to discuss puck and strategy until your heart’s content.

In those days, my daily ritual consisted of picking up local newspapers so I could pencil the stats from the previous night’s games into a marble notebook. Of course the stats from the West Coast games were never listed due to time difference, so there was some catching up to do the following days. In most cases, I would collect all of the papers for the week, sit down on Sunday morning, and officially count up all of the points players earned, then phone the other teams and announce the weekly winner. The good old days, I must say.

And while technology has increased the fun and competition of fantasy sports, part of me feels that a game like fantasy hockey has lost a bit of it’s charm, in a corny way of course. I will refer to it as the Fantasy Football vs. Fantasy Baseball Model and how it has impacted good, old school hockey pools.

In this case, I look at Fantasy Baseball as the dastardly villain that rears his ugly head, screaming, “Gimme STATS, STATS and MORE STATS!” This evil pest is as menacing as Matthew Barnaby jacked up on Red Bull and thrives on STATS like a blood-sucking vampire after last call. He rages through Hockeypooldom – unleashing havoc known as (+/-), hits, blocked shots, straight points, face-offs won, shooting % and PIMS on every fun-loving puckhead with a Sportsline login.

Trailing behind this beast in the sunset is Fantasy Football – maxin and relaxin in his pimped-out joy ride with swinging fuzzy dice. He’s the good guy. He laces up his Nike Shox in a telephone booth and wears a red cape. He’s Han Solo (when he decided to stay and help the Princess fight the dark Empire) and he’s driving down the avenue, blasting Reggae Music, and singing, “Ya, mon, don’t weigh down the poor hockey guys with your bogus STATS and have some fun...”

Bravo, I say.

Hockey poolies need to rub elbows a little more with our good friend Fantasy Football. FF is the life of the party, and despite a few gin martinis, he’s trying to sell you on the fact that fantasy sports is (should be) all about production, fun and entertainment. He may slur his words a bit, but you catch his drift when he mouths, “My friend, forget all those points for the tight end who may have made the block of the decade, it’s all about TDs, highlight catches, and super duper passing plays.” He takes a sip and continues, “Don’t be fooled by the pesky Fantasy Baseball, who wants to rain on your parade with endless STATS and nonsense.” Then he introduces you to his BFF Ocho Cinco and you start kickin it over a bottle of Cristal. It’s all good.

When I see my hockey pool brethren ask questions like, “Compare these 10 players in the following 8 categories, keeping in mind I have 11mil in cap space!” I can’t help but feel like flipping open my razor phone and texting FF for guidance. Let’s face it; fantasy hockey is all about fun. It’s about you holding the reigns over a team that has so much monopoly scratch it makes the KHL look frugal. You have the ability to ice an all-star team for the ages – we’re talking about Crosby, Lecavalier and Vanek all on the same line. On your team, Ales Hemsky is not a (-9) – he is flanking Alex Ovechkin and Henrik Zetterberg on your first scoring line for goodness sake – so it is irrelevant that the Edmonton Oilers may get outscored more often than not.

This is fantasyland here, kids. This is pulling up YouTube and watching your players score highlight reel goals and forwarding the link to the rest of the chumps in your league. It is all about big goals, sweet assists and spectacular saves. There is no need to invite (+/-), blocked shots and the rest of the deadbeats to the party – they can’t hang with the cool kids. And how dare anyone even consider asking the ultimate buzz kill (Mr. Salary Cap) to tag along? He’ll just end up scaring the hotties away with his talk of trading Heatley for Bergfors, just so he can afford a team. Mr. Salary Cap may even tell you it’s a good idea to award the same points for goals as you do assists, and even venture to the ridiculous, telling you that forwards are superior to defensemen so they should each receive 1pt. for each point scored.

Wake up, McFly. On fantasy teams, Crosby should be able to feed a pass to Spezza who sets up Big Joe for a goal. Stern roster limitations (must have 3 LWs) are played out more than Howard Stern. Please live a little.

This long-winded epithet indeed has a purpose. I want to pass along the true joys of fantasy hockey to all those who grind their teeth worrying about the small stuff and too many crummy STATS. My advice: Consider your fantasy hockey league and/or team a fine wine. Enjoy it. Savor it. My personal league can be described as the ‘87 Edmonton Oilers playing shinny on a large International Ice surface. It is the mack daddy of pool formats and the key to lifelong prosperity. Of course this is just one grown mans opinion.

But for those who actually took the time to read this grossly overblown piece of gospel, you shall be rewarded. I am handing you the keys to a better world and the perfect fantasy hockey format. Enjoy.

Team Captain (1 designated forward):
G = 3
A = 2
PP/SH = +1
GW = +2
Shootout G = 1
HT = +1

Forwards (12 – regardless of forward position):
G = 2
A = 1
PP/SH = +1
GW = +2
Shootout G = 1
HT = +1

Defensemen (6):
G = 3
A = 2
PP/SH = +1
GW = +2
Shootout G = 1
HT = +1

Goaltenders (2):
W = 3
OTL/SOL = 1
Save = 0.10
SO = +2
Shootout Save = 0.10

Bench:
6 to 36 players. Whatever floats your boat. You want farm teams? Go for it.

Take this baby for a test drive and run the numbers. When you do, you will see that Marty Brodeur (340.9 pts.) and Alex Ovechkin (as captain, 337 pts.) were tops in this stellar league format. Just a coinkidink that they were the respective Hart and Vezina Trophy winners? Hells no. You will also find that Nicklas Lidstrom (top scoring defenseman with 163 pts.) one-upped the explosive Vinny Lecavalier (162 pts.) The fact is, this format has been massaged to perfection over the last 14 years and it will no doubt satisfy the hockey purist in you. It is accurate, accountable and equally easy for the novice poolie. Most of all, it is fun. There are no useless STATS muddying the waters like a Jacques Lemaire neutral zone trap.

Then, once you are set with your format, get a trophy. Spend a few bucks and get a nice one – one that you and your fellow members will cherish and rightfully display on top of the fireplace in fantasy hockey heaven. Cheers.

[GMGates]

Now that\'s a fantasy league I\'d love to join!
It sounds very convincing.

[ultrawhiteness]

inspirational! thanks for this!

[smoothfun]

nice thread , great league , BUT , as much as i agree and understand where you\'re coming from i also feel that the other pools you mentioned with their salary caps and many stats are just as great for those who want to live the dream of a real hockey team manager where players like foote and a. carter can be as valuable as players like boyes and tanguay.thanks to the hockey gods we are lucky enough to have the best of both worlds , in that there now are so many pools out there that we can all choose the one , or ones that suit oue fantasy needs.with that said , POOL ON !

[hockeyislife]

to be fair, even your pool would make an old-timers head swim..... think back to the days when the pool was staight up points...no trading, no supplemntal picks, no free agent pools. you drafted your 20 guys and prayed that none of them got hurt... then waited till the first week of april t see how you did

the hockey pool has evoloved, most directly from fantasy baseball. not that we need a stat for left handed shooting right wings playing short handed situations in the third period...but someone out there is probably thinking about it.

your pool is a great one...love the scoring concept for designating certain players; but that isn\'t to say that introducing different stats into fantasy hockey make it worse..or better. it just makes it what it is...fantasy!

so find the pool that satisfies your inner GM...once you do it\'ll be like that Saturday afternoon in September 1991 all over again.

[fungchen3]

hockeyislife wrote:

to be fair, even your pool would make an old-timers head swim..... think back to the days when the pool was staight up points...no trading, no supplemntal picks, no free agent pools. you drafted your 20 guys and prayed that none of them got hurt... then waited till the first week of april t see how you did

Talk about going back to the roots. :lol:

Certainly all different pools are great as they have evolved big time. My crazy thread was sparked by a convo I had the other night with a friend of mine who actually started his pool back in 1988. We were talking about the good old days and how the pools are getting bananas these days. :woohoo:

[Knuckles14]

good stroll down memory lane....to the good ol\' days of picking up the Tuesday Vancouver Province and entering the stats (only up to SUnday night games) into a spreadsheet and printing it out at work and faxing it to all my buddies offices.....

our pool is pretty simple too. roster of 24, start 12F, 4D, 2G and have 3 roster moves per calendar month for injuries or slumping players. G/A 1 pt each with bonus for GWG and one more for OTGWG. Goalies 2W, 2SO. We play for a beer stein called the Neilson Cup. Name after Roger Neilson, as our pool started just after he passed away. No cash, but winner\'s bar tab is split amongst the group at the year ender...

very nice story...

[fungchen3]

Knuckles14 wrote:

We play for a beer stein called the Neilson Cup. Name after Roger Neilson, as our pool started just after he passed away. No cash, but winner\'s bar tab is split amongst the group at the year ender...

Awesome stuff. Our trophy was the Bobby Orr Cup and was just renamed this offseason to honor one of the GMs of our league who unfortunately past away this April.

Our draft this season is being held on Sept. 20th and we will share pizzas, drinks and watch hockey DVDs (the 1987 Canada Cup) after the draft.

And there is no better way than splitting up the bar tab for the winner. I think that is excellent. Our league fee is a whopping $25 per team (6 teams total) and each team chips in another $18 to pay for the CBS Sportsline service.

[SirIrish]

Thanks for the read. Very well written and a nice little trip down memory ave. Karma for you my friend.

[MickeyJD]

Read it all, good read, sounds like a great format too.

[MickeyJD]

Read it all, good read, sounds like a great format too.

[thinice]

Anyone interested in setting up a pool in this format? I\'d be interested in joining. I think that some sort of salary cap would be good, but I could be convinced otherwise.

[hockeyislife]

Salary cap????? I guess you skimmed over the finer details...LOL

[thinice]

LOL. I know he was against it, but I think an appropriate salary cap (you could set it pretty large) would make it more interesting.

Still, I\'d be up for one with no salary cap. Anyone else interested?

[Shao]

I for the life of me, would not want to manage a head to head or a salary cap.

Personally, I don\'t want too much micro-managing and the salary cap does take away from building powerhouses as well.

We like to keep things fair by actually only having smart gm\'s.