Middle age and mortality

[tweetdrivr]

I’ve always been a pretty optimistic guy. Things usually seem to end up just fine and any hiccups are just minor setbacks. I’m sure you’re sale and move will work out just fine!

[Dr.Brad]

Professional OCD can be a good thing! Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. But as long as you don’t let the anxiety and OCD rob you out of life’s best opportunities, you’re probably ok.

[RizzeeDizzee]

Professional OCD can be a good thing! Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. But as long as you don’t let the anxiety and OCD rob you out of life’s best opportunities, you’re probably ok.

From your - and my wife's, and my therapist's, etc, - mouths to my ears. If only it were that easy........

[audiopile]

So my wife and I just set into motion the purchase of our "forever home." We figured why stay where we are now, when we no longer will be availing ourselves of the school district and no longer need to be located to close to everything. And the price of our house has TRIPLED since we bought it. But instead of getting excited, I fear that something bad will happen. I've found that as I age, it's far easier for me to dread the worst rather than get excited about what lies ahead. Has anyone else noticed similar feelings, or is this just my OCD robbing me of my happiness?

It may be a normal psychological response? I watched it happen with my father, no OCD. Long story short, my edit - septuagenarian [not octogenarian] parents had to select a new house to live in after spending the last 15 years living with my sister. My dad didn't like any house he looked at all, not because of the house, but I believe it was a challenge to accept the situation, and also knowing it will likely be the last house he lives in. Maybe "forever home" isn't the best label for it?

I also see a lot of hesitation around retiring. My x-co-workers seem to really struggle with that transition but once they make the commitment they don't look back. I think your home transition will go well, its always stressful and there are always some surprises but people do it all the time! Congratulations!

*I have issues with dread and negativity spirals, but they are incredibly cyclical, and I cant pinpoint the cause (more on that below). Its annoying because I know i'm in a bad frame of mind, fully acknowledged, but have no ability to change it, I have to "ride it out".

My turn - after reading through this important thread I have so much to share but Ill try to keep it brief, knowing most of us have similar challenges, and most have more impactful challenges than I do.
Last year I realized that I had to change my eating habits or I would have the same quad bypass both of my parents have had. Its a long and tough recovery, I dont want to go through. So I changed - no more processed garbage - chips, candy, pop, cookies, cereal etc. And no more alcohol. The results have been fantastic. Sugar is the #1 lethal drug no one wants to talk about in that way. Big positive step and Im on my way right? Well,
Im almost 50, and I spent the last week getting to know my new friend Art Hritis and his pal Volt Aren. Bigger than that, is that I had to buy my parents that house... I was a year away from mortgage free living - my life decisions have largely been based on getting out of the work grind as soon as possible. I am not dealing with this situation well. It totally caught me off guard, and Ive basically shut down and given up on the future I had envisioned for myself. Doesnt help that it happens now, during a midlife crisis of sorts, where I'm reflecting on myself realizing I am also probably slightly autistic (undiagnosed at this time, but the tests are coming). I know its first world, and could be much worse but its the life Im living. :-/

[RizzeeDizzee]

It may be a normal psychological response? I watched it happen with my father, no OCD. Long story short, my octogenarian parents had to select a new house to live in after spending the last 15 years living with my sister. My dad didn't like any house he looked at all, not because of the house, but I believe it was a challenge to accept the situation, and also knowing it will likely be the last house he lives in. Maybe "forever home" isn't the best label for it?

I also see a lot of hesitation around retiring. My x-co-workers seem to really struggle with that transition but once they make the commitment they don't look back. I think your home transition will go well, its always stressful and there are always some surprises but people do it all the time! Congratulations!

*I have issues with dread and negativity spirals, but they are incredibly cyclical, and I cant pinpoint the cause (more on that below). Its annoying because I know i'm in a bad frame of mind, fully acknowledged, but have no ability to change it, I have to "ride it out".

My turn - after reading through this important thread I have so much to share but Ill try to keep it brief, knowing most of us have similar challenges, and most have more impactful challenges than I do.
Last year I realized that I had to change my eating habits or I would have the same quad bypass both of my parents have had. Its a long and tough recovery, I dont want to go through. So I changed - no more processed garbage - chips, candy, pop, cookies, cereal etc. And no more alcohol. The results have been fantastic. Sugar is the #1 lethal drug no one wants to talk about in that way. Big positive step and Im on my way right? Well,
Im almost 50, and I spent the last week getting to know my new friend Art Hritis and his pal Volt Aren. Bigger than that, is that I had to buy my parents that house... I was a year away from mortgage free living - my life decisions have largely been based on getting out of the work grind as soon as possible. I am not dealing with this situation well. It totally caught me off guard, and Ive basically shut down and given up on the future I had envisioned for myself. Doesnt help that it happens now, during a midlife crisis of sorts, where I'm reflecting on myself realizing I am also probably slightly autistic (undiagnosed at this time, but the tests are coming). I know its first world, and could be much worse but its the life Im living. :-/

I gotta say, Volt...Aren really is great stuff for those unaware. I also take 100mg of Celebrex every day, and that is super helpful with my spondlyoarthritis.

[Daydream Nation]

I recently listened to a conversation with Bill Perkins who wrote the book Die with Zero- Getting all you can from your money and your life. It was a very interesting discussion about spending your money when you can enjoy it and how many people work, work, work, and save their whole life but cannot enjoy it when they retire since they're in poor shape and literally cannot do what they've always dreamed. Perkins subscribes to a lot of stoic philosophies of how money is just a tool and should be used to best enjoy one's life. I plan to listen to it next week while on vacation since this is something I struggle with. I was raised in a family in which money was tight so I've always been a saver and an investor. I know I should spend more money but I'm self-disciplined and financially conservative to the core.

On a completely different topic, does anyone monitor their VO2 Max? I stumbled onto a Youtube video video in which they were talking about how it's an important indicator to monitor as one ages.

[RizzeeDizzee]

I do think that some have a mentality that they need to save and live beneath their means, which is a good idea.....to a point. Many just can't turn off that switch though. Working with a good financial advisor can give one peace of mind on this. But outliving a LARGE portion of your money, even if you can pass it down to kids or give to charity, does seem like it's robbing you of potential enjoyment. I see the same thing when it comes to eating, where people deny themselves so much that they rarely enjoy a meal. Of course you can't let yourself go, but a balance can be struck.

I think I had my VO2 Max measured during my cardiac stress test, and it looked okay. But yeah, it is something you usually need to seemingly go out of your way to assess.

[Daydream Nation]

I think I had my VO2 Max measured during my cardiac stress test, and it looked okay. But yeah, it is something you usually need to seemingly go out of your way to assess.

I don't know how accurate it is but I get a reading through my Apple watch and the health app on my phone. I am very pleased with my score so I think it's accurate.

[Dr.Brad]

[QUOTE=Daydream Nation;2283651]I recently listened to a conversation with Bill Perkins who wrote the book Die with Zero- Getting all you can from your money and your life. It was a very interesting discussion about spending your money when you can enjoy it and how many people work, work, work, and save their whole life but cannot enjoy it when they retire since they're in poor shape and literally cannot do what they've always dreamed.

i’ve spent a lot of my career, caring for older people. Yes - many, many of them never fulfilled their retirement dreams. My mentor’s wife died within six months of HIS retirement, and two other surgeons had medical issues forcing ends to their careers - neither then either golfed nor traveled as they’d dreamed. The lesson here is to live your life. Yes, it’s a balancing act and God won’t send you an outline for the future. But being led by fear and worry about what’s next? No, just no.

[butch]

My grade 10 science teacher who was also my cross country / track and field coach was fit as a fiddle .He retired in the early 90's and bought his dream house overlooking a popular lake within the city . Within 2 years of retiring he sadly passed away from stomach cancer at 63

Theres a popular trail around said lake that his former house is visible from so its a constant reminder of him when going for walks with wifey .

[Magicstew]

[QUOTE=Dr.Brad;2283683]

I recently listened to a conversation with Bill Perkins who wrote the book Die with Zero- Getting all you can from your money and your life. It was a very interesting discussion about spending your money when you can enjoy it and how many people work, work, work, and save their whole life but cannot enjoy it when they retire since they're in poor shape and literally cannot do what they've always dreamed.

i’ve spent a lot of my career, caring for older people. Yes - many, many of them never fulfilled their retirement dreams. My mentor’s wife died within six months of HIS retirement, and two other surgeons had medical issues forcing ends to their careers - neither then either golfed nor traveled as they’d dreamed. The lesson here is to live your life. Yes, it’s a balancing act and God won’t send you an outline for the future. But being led by fear and worry about what’s next? No, just no.

Good advice Dr. Brad. Looking to retire early next year. Trying to plan with wife what we are going to do. Doing lots of reading on things to do and how to approach them. Looking at doing lots of travelling in our early retirement years while we can, as you never know what can happen health wise. One thing I read recently is "you live every day and only die once, its the circle of life".
Going to look for that book " Die with zero"