Just bought a house & getting married in 9 days! Any Advice?

[dooley89]

Saw a thread a while back posted by stringer who got married and read the whole thing - so much quality 'old fogie' advice as he put it haha!

Anyway, my Fiancee (together for 4 years now) and I just purchased our very first home (Townhouse, just built - first owners)!
And we are getting married next Friday (9 days from today) and moving in after the wedding (we both still live with parents)!

I read a ton of advice from the other thread but if there was anything you guys think is SO crucial it should be mentioned again, feel free!
For you home-owners out there - any solid advice or suggestions (funny stories are good to) in regards to owning a home!

The fiancee wants to paint and make furniture out of pallets and buy flowers and all kinds of stuff haha, I am a little more laid back so dont really care or need much to be happy! She already bought a fish (How concerned on a scale of 8-10 should I be haha)?

Thanks in advance for all of the replies - looking forward to them!!!!!

[gainerama]

With regard to the new house, do not go crazy into additional credit card debt now that you have a reason to spend

With regard to marriage, it's a partnership that will take incredible amount of work and patience to be successful. You will have ups and you will have downs, but no matter what happens, all you have is each other and you need to be emotionally invested to win this fantasy pool called life.

[doulos]

Enjoy the ride!

We own an older home (built in the 1950s) and it's a lot of work. After owning it now for about 10 years I can honestly say that it's not a good investment. There is always something expensive that needs to be done - roof, water heater, furnace, renovating rooms - it goes on and on. However, it's yours. You can paint the walls bright pink if you like. You can do whatever you want to it and know that you live in it, and you are the one who is going to enjoy it.

It sounds like I am a bit more laid back like you, and it's my wife that does the dreaming and scheming. Don't worry though, all that dreaming and scheming will turn into a crapload of work for you....haha. If I was a single guy I would never own a home.

I am not all that handy (I can do simple things) and one good piece of advice is to not try and save money on contractors or people you hire to do stuff on your home. Pay the extra to get a well known, above board (no cash deals) person who has lots of good word about them around town. It'll save you so many headaches down the road.

[The Bottlenecker]

As for the home: whether you have a shack or a mansion, it is yours, treat it as such and be comfortable in it. This is where you'll spend time with the people you love, raise kids (maybe), fight, cry, laugh, and grow old. As I write this, I can't help but tell you that I am sitting in a zero gravity chair on my screened in deck with my dog curled up at my feet. The dishes aren't done, and the floors need swept, but not right now. Totally relaxed.

As for the wife: she isn't perfect, so don't ever let the little imperfections get between you and her. My grandmother told me upon my own marriage that the biggest fight her and my grandfather ever had was about socks. Yep, socks. Apparently, he never put his away, and after years of arguing / fighting about it, she realized one day that her life would be a whole lot less stressful if she never said anything about his imperfect, but really insignificant, behaviour. They were married for over sixty years, and my grandfather only ever put away his socks after my grandmother passed away three years before he did.

That, and remember these seven words for when you frig up, and you will:"I don't know what I was thinking!"

[doulos]

Hahah, one of the biggest fights I can remember ever having was about Tupperware. The silliest things. Good times!

[One87]

Saw a thread a while back posted by stringer who got married and read the whole thing - so much quality 'old fogie' advice as he put it haha!

Anyway, my Fiancee (together for 4 years now) and I just purchased our very first home (Townhouse, just built - first owners)!
And we are getting married next Friday (9 days from today) and moving in after the wedding (we both still live with parents)!

I read a ton of advice from the other thread but if there was anything you guys think is SO crucial it should be mentioned again, feel free!
For you home-owners out there - any solid advice or suggestions (funny stories are good to) in regards to owning a home!

The fiancee wants to paint and make furniture out of pallets and buy flowers and all kinds of stuff haha, I am a little more laid back so dont really care or need much to be happy! She already bought a fish (How concerned on a scale of 8-10 should I be haha)?

Thanks in advance for all of the replies - looking forward to them!!!!!

I did a similar move in '07 on July 7th. Congrats to you!!!! Only thing I would say about a town home, which I own, is now that my family has extended, I wish I would have moved into a home with some land away a little from neighbors. The privacy factor looms a little bit more so than before. Other than that, gravy. Enjoy!!

[Pengwin7]

There's so much advice, but giving just one piece I find is a good start.

1. Pick your battles.
I (purposely) lose about 90% of all arguments and decisions.
We eat at her restaurants.
We hang out most often with her friends.
She got to pick her side of the bed.
She got to pick her side of the couch.
We most often watch her movies & her TV shows.
Some of my friends call me a push-over, because I miss several "guys nights".
But here's the thing... if there's a BIG battle... it's mine, because... in fairness... I rarely get "my way".

In general... it's a different way to "compromise".
In marriage, compromise rules all.
That's the grander moral of this story.
If you and your wife compromise well... you'll ride into the ol' age home together.

[The Bottlenecker]

There's so much advice, but giving just one piece I find is a good start.

1. Pick your battles.
I (purposely) lose about 90% of all arguments and decisions.
We eat at her restaurants.
We hang out most often with her friends.
She got to pick her side of the bed.
She got to pick her side of the couch.
We most often watch her movies & her TV shows.
Some of my friends call me a push-over, because I miss several "guys nights".
But here's the thing... if there's a BIG battle... it's mine, because... in fairness... I rarely get "my way".

In general... it's a different way to "compromise".
In marriage, compromise rules all.
That's the grander moral of this story.
If you and your wife compromise well... you'll ride into the ol' age home together.

Haha, at least I got to pick what side of the bed I get to sleep on. You are right though, Pengwin7.

[MarmotKing]

If you're moving into a new house, first thing to do is paint. It will be loads easier without any funiture inside. (That's what I did when I bought my first home.) You probably won't have much to worry about in a new home. Just remember to maintain it and you'll be fine. And don't go crazy renovating/adding stuff, you will have plenty of time to do that. Plus in/on a house, there is always something you can add/modify/etc.

As for marriage, don't hold grudges. If you fight, do it then move on. As Bottlenecker said, let the little things go. I have a pile of clothes next to my dresser and after years she realize that it will probably always be there so she doesn't talk to me about it. Little things. She has like 8 pair of shoes lying around the entrance instead of in the closet. She love her shoes. Nothing I can do. Pick your battle.

As for the wedding itself. Enjoy yourselves. When the day arrives, don't stress about anything because there is nothing more you can do. And at the reception, just have fun!

Good luck buddy!

[MarmotKing]

In general... it's a different way to "compromise".
In marriage, compromise rules all.
That's the grander moral of this story.
If you and your wife compromise well... you'll ride into the ol' age home together.

Good stuff Pengwin7.

[dooley89]

Awesome stuff so far, thanks guys!
Definitely looking forward to officially moving in and slowly getting things organized, I believe a trip to IKEA is in our near future as we honestly have nothing (Okay, we have a bed, dresser and 1 desk haha)!

[Kane Ryker]

and....the fish, don't forget the FISH!

Good luck in marriage!

Awesome stuff so far, thanks guys!
Definitely looking forward to officially moving in and slowly getting things organized, I believe a trip to IKEA is in our near future as we honestly have nothing (Okay, we have a bed, dresser and 1 desk haha)!

[Big Ev]

Did you get a mortgage yet?

[doulos]

Awesome stuff so far, thanks guys!
Definitely looking forward to officially moving in and slowly getting things organized, I believe a trip to IKEA is in our near future as we honestly have nothing (Okay, we have a bed, dresser and 1 desk haha)!

Consider hitting up the local thrift store as well. Sometimes you can get some good quality furniture that can look great with some TLC.

[The Bottlenecker]

Awesome stuff so far, thanks guys!
Definitely looking forward to officially moving in and slowly getting things organized, I believe a trip to IKEA is in our near future as we honestly have nothing (Okay, we have a bed, dresser and 1 desk haha)!

As newlyweds all you need is a bed, but the dresser and desk offer up some fun times too.

Hey, you heard about the stages of sex, home ownership and marriage...?

Stage one: newlywed, sex everywhere in the house.
Stage two: one year in, sex weekly in the bedroom, once every three months on a piece of furniture.
Stage three: two to five years in, sex once every two months, bedroom only, door locked & lasting for a moment while the kids are asleep.
Stage four: five years +, sex consists of you passing her in the hallway, and she says "F*** You!"