The point was never that one person saying one thing, with no malice intended was going to ruin the lives of women everywhere, or cause direct harm to anyone. I get that things like rape and a history of oppression came up in the ensuing discussion, and people are thus making connections that weren't intended.
The point isn't "fungchen you are a terrible person, and that one thing you said has ruined the world for girls forever." The point is "fungchen, calling Crosby a girl contributes in a very small way to a very big and serious issue. Could you choose a non-gendered term next time?"
If I throw my coffee cup on the ground at the local park, I haven't ruined the park for everyone forever. I haven't made it impossible for neighbourhood children to play there, or encouraged a bad crowd to hang out there, drinking and shooting up and leaving needles around. But littering still isn't cool right? Because if I, and a few dozen other people throw our garbage on the ground in that park, and we do it regularly, the place starts to go to shit. Then other people who wouldn't normally litter decide what the hell? Other people are doing it, so why not me? Now my neighbourhood park is looking kind of rough, and parents aren't taking their kids there as often, etc. The point isn't that one person doing one small thing is a huge problem. The point is that many people doing a small thing again and again can create a huge problem, and I don't think it's unreasonable, when you see someone contributing to a problem that you feel strongly about, to try and explain the situation to them, and ask them to stop contributing to it. Is this thread the right place to do that? Sure. If you care about something, you call it out when and where you see it happen. Anywhere else is irrelevant.
Now I get that this thread got uglier than it should have, and I don't think either side is innocent in that, myself included. I still feel though that mounD's point is an important one, and I am glad that he raised it where and when he did.