I disagree. First, initially they are coming from two opposing perspectives. Bettman (owners) proactively locked the players out as a negotiating tactic (validity aside for the moment). Thus the players entered from a reactive position. The owners own, therefore they are in the position of power and it is they who dictate the ebb and flow of the discussions...ultimately.
Now that by no means mitigates nor excuses the boneheadedness of the NHLPA's negotiating tactics. But make no mistake there is a hierarchy between owners/players, as well within each respective group.
Which brings me to my next point. Your presumption that [all] the owners let bettman get in a co<k fight with their cash? is untrue on it's face. Maybe five owners are the ones actually pushing-pulling the league and by extension, Bettman in the direction they deem. The notion that all owners are created equal in the context of these discussion is..put nicely, not true.
Second, even if it were, the hubris that bloats these owners blinds them from any notion that could possibly "lose" these negotiations (and their cash). Therefore, the concept of risk escapes them, w/in the context of these discussions. Especially, when initial proposal were being bandied about.
The players...well, they had my empathy from the outset, but no longer. The players have become at this stage what the owners started out as - full of themselves. It's all ego, at this point, and the same hierarchy exists among the players as with the owners, with the chosen few millionaires dictating the course of action for the middle class.