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Thread: I’m screwed

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    Default I’m screwed

    I was doing well..I drank they pulled me over I lost my license I will be losing my job I did so much to gain that was amazing. I f’ed up. My fiancée is staying with me but I honestly want to throw everything away. My church is being pieces of garbage about it saying I shouldn’t get married now. F them. I want to throw it all away and go do meth been there in the past. The only thing keeping me is my fiancée won’t leave me. I had the best job in the world I screwed it ip now what? Ugh. Sorry I guess this is what the lounge is for. I’m sure I’ll be the subject of much ridicule. I have nowhere else to turn. Sorry boys. Good bye I guess.
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    I'm not going to sugarcoat it: this sucks. But pls don't be too harsh to yourself, we all make mistakes - you made a pretty stupid one and had pretty bad luck with the consequences. But you seem to own your mistake and not be looking for someone to blame instead. So good on you.
    Just don't throw it all away. Be thankful for your girlfriend who's still sticking with you - having someone who seems to not only be good for the sunny days is a huge find, believe me. Pull through it, learn from it, be thankful for the one that still sticks with you.

    Or in fantasy terms: go for the rebuild with the one core piece you already have. Build a dynasty over the long run. Don't go fully scorched earth though (the meth road...). Only oblivion awaits you there.

    I doubt this take from a complete stranger helps a lot, but pls take care

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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    PS: ...and even if this crisis led to a breakup, don't lose your self-esteem. There were qualities that got you that nice job in the first place. There's a guy that your girl fell in love with. These qualities are still right there in you. You might have gotten a bit of a dusty/mouldy layer or so over the last bit with that DUI, but you're still the same person that was able to do just fine. You'll continue to be that very person.

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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    There’s a song called trigger finger …by until the end. He tells us to put the barrel down our throats and pull the trigger choke. I sent another song to the pastor who refused to believe I had changed. If anyone on here understands addiction that is one of the most crippling things in the world when someone you thought you loved tells you they were suspicious the whole time like “I told you so” even though I was doing so good. Oh I hate that man he’s my “pastor” I sent him a song it’s called emmure 4 poisons 3 words. It’s harsh. “ Now I'm walking away
    I don't need this
    I don't need you
    I have no interest to please or appease you
    I'm done wasting my ****ing life
    On cowards wasting my ****ing time
    And if I'm alone in this fight
    Then I'm walking away tonight
    Get ****ed
    I'm standing on my own two feet
    I don't need you
    I don't need this
    I'm ready to die for my beliefs
    Not ready to die for your beliefs
    Are you with me in this fight?”

    This is what happens when you’re a judgemental ******* you hurt people. I’m done with this *******.

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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    I don't know you personally but as someone who is trained to recognize someone in need, you need to talk to someone.

    I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm being honest and pure. Please call someone and get some help. This is not the place to do that. Talk to a professional. There are people on your area who can offer guidance and support. I don't even know where you are but I can guarantee there's someone in your area who can offer support.

    I'm not saying go away. I'm saying you need to talk to a professional.

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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    Wotan's reply really knocked it out of the park and I don't have much to add. All the best to you though, be well.

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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    Both Wotan and Axe have offered great advice man.

    Please seek out someone professional to speak to in your area who can help you through this.

    We all screw up from time to time. All you can do is learn from it and move forward in a positive manner. Stay focused on your fiance and getting yourself back in a healthy place. The rest will start to fall back in place after that. But you need to reach out for help along that way from professionals. They will help get you back on course and keep you there.

    Stay strong brother.
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    I hope you can find the light. I know everything seems darkest at this point in your life but it will all be ok in time. Be grateful for the people you have at your side for they are there for a reason. Your fiancée loves you and that’s all that matters right now. Be with people who are supportive and talk to them about anything. Cry, yell and vent with them around you. Don’t feel the pain by yourself.

    Also as others have said, find help. I’ll pray for you and I know you will find the strength to regroup and love yourself first and foremost. Please be well and feel the support around you especially from your future wife.
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    Something that I started listening to and reading about since last summer is stoicism. It gives a lot of practical advice on how to live our everyday life. I listen to Ryan Holliday’s Daily Stoic Podcast everyday and it is soothing and has helped me tremendously. He speaks of overcoming obstacles often. I know it would help you through this tough time. Good luck and hang in there.
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    I feel for you man. But despite the really bad stuff you’re dealing with now, it’s also easy to forget the things that are good and for which you can be grateful. Easier said than done to focus on the positives, but you can do it and it can only help. I know reading a book is probably not high on your list of priorities right now, but if you can, read Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. I wish you much strength and faith to get through this difficult time.

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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    This post makes me angry as it hits close to home...i lost a very good friend to drunk driver and another one is living with life altering injuries....but i do believe in second chances, i do believe everybody gets to prove that they are good people who made a mistake... so i really wish you all the best!

    As other said here, get help, talk to someone who can help, don't be scared of it. I know its not easy to ask for help in situations like this but it really does help....I hope next time you post here you feel way way better than you do now!
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream Nation View Post
    Something that I started listening to and reading about since last summer is stoicism. It gives a lot of practical advice on how to live our everyday life. I listen to Ryan Holliday’s Daily Stoic Podcast everyday and it is soothing and has helped me tremendously. He speaks of overcoming obstacles often. I know it would help you through this tough time. Good luck and hang in there.
    I second the practicing stoicism recommendation and Ryan Holliday is a great way to get into it.

    Also, please check back in here to let all of us know you are still pushing through. You've got this
    Without me, it's only "aweso".

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    Default Re: IÂ’m screwed

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerCat View Post
    I was doing well..I drank they pulled me over I lost my license I will be losing my job I did so much to gain that was amazing. I fÂ’ed up.
    We all make mistakes, this is a speed bump. You can find employment elsewhere, and who knows it could be an even better opportunity in 5-10 years, you never know.

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerCat View Post
    My fiancée is staying with me but I honestly want to throw everything away.
    That is the exact reason to not throw it all away. Sounds like a good woman, don't amplify the mistake and throw your relationship away.

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerCat View Post
    My church is being pieces of garbage about it saying I shouldnÂ’t get married now. F them.
    Find a new church, plenty to pick from.

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerCat View Post
    I want to throw it all away and go do meth been there in the past.
    An in-law of mine had this problem in past as well. Don't go back, it isn't worth it and you know it isn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerCat View Post
    The only thing keeping me is my fiancée won’t leave me. I had the best job in the world I screwed it ip now what? Ugh. Sorry I guess this is what the lounge is for. I’m sure I’ll be the subject of much ridicule. I have nowhere else to turn. Sorry boys. Good bye I guess.
    Again, don't mess up your relationship. Take a step back, realize it is a speed bump and not a road block. There is work to be found and second chances are plenty. You said you came back from meth once, you can come back from this as well. Just need to reign in the partying, so as others suggested, talk with someone if you think you need helping doing so.
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    You're not screwed.

    Sure, you ****ed up. ****-up's happen. But that does not define you.

    It's not the end of the world. It's hard to believe that in the moment.

    But what you have before you is an opportunity to put your resolve on display.

    Define yourself by how you respond, grow and learn from this.
    Come back stronger and better.

    Have a heart to heart with your employer. Try and find a resolution - rather than walk away.

    Adopt the attitude -
    I will not give up. I will try again - harder than last time.
    ^
    This includes Axe's great advice of talking to someone who can help you get to Comeback kid mentality.

    Just read this thread. You're not alone.

    Take a deep breathe. Analyze this situation (write out all your thoughts, plans, outcomes) and create your game plan to conquer the world.
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    Default Re: I’m screwed

    Don't give up.
    Don't give up.
    Draw the good things in your life closer. Take the negative things out, to the extent you can.
    Talk to a professional.
    People care about you.
    Don't give up.

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