Strange encounter

[finnys_fanatsy]

so yesterday im at my desk and i get a LinkedIn request from a past work colleague from a former workplace. He's quite a bit older than me, retired now for sometime, and i hadn't been there since 2006 and i wasn't really what i'd call friends with this guy, more co-workers, and if I'm being honest i really didn't think much of the guy when i did work with him. He had an arrogance and know it all attitude about him. i dunno maybe he was really just anti-social and personally awkward, he is an Engineer after all lol.

anyway, i accept the invite and think nothing of it, the guy was just cruising through LI and found me and shot a a request, ok cool. later in the evening i get this long winded message about how he found me, was impressed by my achievements since we worked together and goes on about how he lost his wife a few years back, got angry at the world because nobody told you to expect your life love to die before you, went to counseling, found new love and is travelling the world with her, spending money before one of them dies!

I'm like "OK then" i shoot him back teh obligatory "Appreciate the words about my achievements, Sorry to hear about your wife, glad you found a new purpose, yadda yadda yadda". thinking that would be teh last...

He sends me back another fairly long message about hows hes connecting with alot of old colleagues, and how nobody has really changed and whatnot, Have a Good Life.

i thought this kind of "reflection on your own mortality" thing only happens in teh movies..guess not.

[2014olympicgold]

It's def the "second life" movement here. I had a coworker go about this same kinda thing when he retired. The whole "my life actually starts now" thing, guy worked his whole life. Then had a heart attack 2 weeks into retirement.

My works had quite a few retirees that didn't make it 3yrs into retirement. Lifestyle of the guys had be surprised they lived to 65+. I however have developed quite the soft spot for the recently retired health problem people because of this. My future mother-in-law passed away recently after a life long battle of health problems (before she turned 60) and seeing my future father-in-law list the things they always wanted to do was just another kick to my heart.


Glad he's actually living life. You don't get to keep your wealth really, so live your life.

[Feenom]

As you get older you start personal reflections. You understand how precious life and the people in it are. Sometimes look back and appreciate how that helped you get to now. It happens and I can totally understand it. I’ve known so many people that don’t even make it to retirement. Then I hear colleagues say they are working until their 70’s.

I am trying to shave off as many years to retirement (hope to retire by 58) because time becomes so precious. But who knows and kudos to you for the way you handled the situation. You probably made his day by replying. Have a good one.

[Belexus75]

i agree with others..i dont think its that strange. Its just older person reflection on life...i already do that and im only middle age

[butch]

I had an old friend contact me a few years ago who had moved away from the area . He had terminal cancer so we talked for a few hours about the good old days (school and part time job we both worked).

Rest in peace Paul .

[SeaDawg]

@finnys_fantasy I can relate with this guy. My spouse died a while back, and in the last 6-7 months I've been dealing with another personal crisis that is making me re-live the loss of my spouse and causing me to (yet again) re-evaluate my purpose in life. For some people, personal reflection may happen at a young age, but for many of us as we get older things (tragedy) happen that force us to reset and seek comfort and acknowledgeable wherever possible. As human beings, connection to others at a time of loss and crisis is often the medicine we need to persevere. I know you don't know the person who contacted you very well, but the individual is simply grasping and trying to reach out to anyone possible for reassurance and comfort. Last week I went to a physiotherapist for a physical ailment and before I realized it, I was crying and confessing to her some of the shit I've been dealing with lately, even though we had known each other for all of 10 minutes!

The best thing anyone can do to help a person who is hurting is to acknowledge their pain, offer them sympathy and compassion without judgement or advice. Just acknowledge what they are dealing with, tell them you are sorry it has happened to them, and let that person vent. Usually all people need is an outlet and time to let the emotions/situation pass. Nothing in life remains constant and the pain and suffering will eventually become more bearable.