Advice Needed: Awards for Kids Rec Level Sports

[Invictus]

We definitely didn't coddle our daughter out of choice. ("Coddle" being a VERY relative & subjective term.)

Thanks for clarifying.
I was using the term (as I don't even remember if it was the term you used) loosely to let it mean more what you meant when you had talked about your daughter previously. I don't know what post it was so I couldn't even look it up to refresh myself. So really didn't want to put words in your mouth (if it came across as that a bit) and was hoping for correction/clarification thanks.

Wasn't exactly what I remembering... I may be remembering what someone else said about their child(s).

Bit busy at work now to respond to the rest, but wanted to get that part out there.

Also agree with Axeman and rataylor22 on the thread topic.

[rataylor22]

At that age, you either get them the exact same thing (a participation award, be it a McDonalds gift card, or a free sunday at DQ, I dont know) or you get them all nothing. I dont think you should be awarding MVPs, MIP, etc, and singling out kids.

Personally I am on the "get them nothing" train because I hate participation awards but todays society is soft. What can you do.

Probably blame the boomer generation, who were the ones ordering and giving out all the participation trophies. The kids aren't ordering the awards, and participating trophies have been around for at least 25 years.

[2014olympicgold]

Participation trophies have been around since the 20s, and were popular in the 60s and only became a talking point in the 90s and became demonized in the 2000s.

Once Pay-To-Play sports took off in the 90s, parents were upset that they paid more but their child had worse results and their kid was upset. So it wasn't even boomers who invented the participation trophies, it was just pushed by them HARD (prolly something about the American Dream and winning at life and having things that show it is life).

[niconasr]

In my opinion, no skill based awards should be given unless the kids and parents were made aware of them before the activities started. I'm not fond of doling out awards for skill as a surprise as kids and parents will definitely (and justifiably) have different reactions to it.

If the main coach wants to do something like this next year and advise everyone up front, then sure. Give all the kids the chance to earn these awards if they want to. No one wants to be retroactively judged about something they didn't know they'd be judged on.

That's my small two cents.

[LawMan]

Participation trophies have been around since the 20s, and were popular in the 60s and only became a talking point in the 90s and became demonized in the 2000s.

Once Pay-To-Play sports took off in the 90s, parents were upset that they paid more but their child had worse results and their kid was upset. So it wasn't even boomers who invented the participation trophies, it was just pushed by them HARD (prolly something about the American Dream and winning at life and having things that show it is life).

Some good points here and also agree with niconosr's take.
I would avoid individual awards, even if everyone gets one. It undercuts the spirit of the league as described, and frankly the best players know they are the best players.
Ihave no problem with "participation awards" at the age described and think they can be positive if framed correctly. Frankly, "participation trophy" is a loaded term at this point.

Giving awards to the whole team for: showing up every week (commitment), trying their best (perseverance) and improving (growth) are excellent skills and attributes to honor.
Everyone getting a trophy can be a positive thing if they create found memories, and a life long love of sport (regardless of player individual skill levels).

Finally, if coaches are paying out of pocket obviously you have contributed more than enough time and should not be obligated to pay for anything.

[Dr.Brad]

I coached travel, select, and (youth) state teams in soccer, 7 years. Soccer is a team sport. I’d oppose individual awards. Kids DO appreciate you showing them that you care, but you hopefully care equally for everyone. Pizza party?

[Daydream Nation]

Some good points here and also agree with niconosr's take.
I would avoid individual awards, even if everyone gets one. It undercuts the spirit of the league as described, and frankly the best players know they are the best players.

Not only that, the kids know who the best players are. I just asked my son who the best players were on his team and he named the 3 best players without hesitation. (He was not one of them.)

[Invictus]

Individual awards for a team game, usually given at the end of a season, doesn't leave any of the individuals feeling the team atmosphere.

One of us three coaches wants to hand out some awards to the kids (there are 10), MVP, MIP, Best Spirit, etc

Has there been any changes on his stance?
Maybe he can be persuaded to hand out something to all the kids and not label it as an award or just have a team pizza party instead (doesn't have to be pizza). Would that sit with you a little easier?

As far as the picking teams thing... probably better just to drop a debate of it. I firmly support the healthy mix of kids selecting their own teams (alternating captains) and teacher picking (or random) and you firmly support your stance. I highly doubt one of us will convince the other to change stance. Really won't help any of us (reason to be here) and just derail the thread.
I was curious what thread I was remembering from... It could have been the other daughter, but I highly doubt that. I probably was mixing in what someone else said about their own (in the same thread). I tried finding it, but no luck.

[stevegamer]

I think that if you are going to give out gift cards, make sure that everyone can use them.

I know a few people who end up getting gift cards they won't use, and I'm generally the buyer/matchmaker. One person has multiple lactose intolerant folks, and got a DQ gift card among others. Gift cards to fancy restaurants that they don't eat at. My SO had a realtor give her a gift card to a place she told her that she doesn't like to eat at - that realtor was effing less than useless.

If you want to honor the kids who made every practice with a dedication certificate or something, that's fine. Having been the guy picked last often enough times in school, it was okay with me if I wasn't good. When I was actually better than expected, I was no longer picked last.

Note I don't have kids, but talk with lots of people who do about stuff, because they want advice.

[Invictus]

One person has multiple lactose intolerant folks, and got a DQ gift card among others.

DQ has enough dairy free options to still make it worthwhile going. Even vegan options! (though no clue on worthwhileness)
Their non-dairy Dilly Bars are made with vegan chocolate and coconut ice cream (which I find pretty good)

Definitely not going to my freezer to get some DQ now... lol mmmm