Fred Shero's letter to his player's wives in 1977

[Godin]

I somehow think this would lead to divorce today.

https://twitter.com/Super70sSports/s...66682263420931

[senryu]

That's a yikes.

[northernnuck]

too funny.

[Feenom]

A worldly guy.

[The Comish]

Yeah, it was a different era (I'm pretty sure people were happier). Unfair to judge things that happened decades ago with today's standards, but people will anyway.

[2014olympicgold]

Jokes because this was prolly pretty progressive because the note finishes by saying they're going to send out another note telling a man what to do.

[Pengwin7]

Different era, for sure.
But we can also bank that 44 years from now, the future generations will look back on the now (2021) and remark on the stupid things we said.

Two years ago, my daughter entered a gifted program at her school.
The lead teacher gave an introductory speech about herself... trying to be very honest...
At one point she said:
"And about me, I love coffee. If you ever want to bring me one, please feel free. I like my coffees tall, dark, and strong - just like I like my men."
[I am not tall... not dark... not strong.]

The room was mostly mothers... so it came off as joky/acceptable.
It didn't feel that way to me. I've debated for the last few years whether I should bring that up to the schoolboard.
She's a minority & a woman... and I decided to give her a pass.

But the story here is this:
If you are a figurehead... and you talk/write long enough (unedited)... eventually... you are going to say something that somebody will take offense to.
Women & minorities included.

The more things change... the more they stay the same.

[audiopile]

Different era, for sure.
But we can also bank that 44 years from now, the future generations will look back on the now (2021) and remark on the stupid things we said.

Two years ago, my daughter entered a gifted program at her school.
The lead teacher gave an introductory speech about herself... trying to be very honest...
At one point she said:
"And about me, I love coffee. If you ever want to bring me one, please feel free. I like my coffees tall, dark, and strong - just like I like my men."

The room was mostly mothers... so it came off as joky/acceptable.
It didn't feel that way to me. I've debated for the last few years whether I should bring that up to the schoolboard.
She's a minority & a woman... and I decided to give her a pass.

But the story here is this:
If you are a figurehead... and you talk/write long enough (unedited)... eventually... you are going to say something that somebody will take offense to.
Women & minorities included.

The more things change... the more they stay the same.

If you look hard enough you can find a flake of gold amongst the sand. Is it worth looking for, that is my question.

Or,

Was there intent to injure? Were you hurt? Did it really hurt or do you want it to hurt? Is there a way you could, in your mind, manage the pain rather than exacerbate it? It hurts when I do this, let me show you.

Or,

I watch my neice and nephew play together. It's adorable. Then I see one do a mean thing to the other. The other starts to cry. They aren't crying because it hurts, they are crying because they want attention from mom. Because I am the uncle, I can see this, my sister sometimes cannot.

[Invictus]

Different era, for sure.
"And about me, I love coffee. If you ever want to bring me one, please feel free. I like my coffees tall, dark, and strong - just like I like my men."
[I am not tall... not dark... not strong.]

The room was mostly mothers... so it came off as joky/acceptable.
It didn't feel that way to me. I've debated for the last few years whether I should bring that up to the schoolboard.
She's a minority & a woman... and I decided to give her a pass.

Her personal preference in men offends you?

[The Comish]

How Kreiger from Archer prefers HIS coffee...fair warning, totally inapprops:

[Pengwin7]

Her personal preference in men offends you?

Maybe... IDK... (the fact that she announced her preferred/best/better man-type in a room of 60+ parents, mostly women)... but that wasn't my point of my post.
Thinking about the world isn't about how "I" (one singular individual) feel.
It's about understanding how others would feel.
Everybody has to somewhat extrapolate that through their own world.

Part of the issue with the world is that people say "This doesn't offend me, so why should it offend others..."
[The husbands, wives, of the Shero letter would've had a range of interpretations on that.]
So... you sort of made my case.in.point... which was two-fold.

Side1: Everybody slips and says offensive shit. We are human. We make mistakes. We should work harder to not say it, once people bring it to our attention that it hurt them.
Side2: Everybody occasionally has that offensive shit come to them. We all deal with it differently, but we shouldn't assume the way we feel is the same way another feels.
(And the timeline sensitivity is that the world changes in how they give/receive this... so looking back at something from 1977 is going to be REALLY unfair... when dropped/evaluated in 2021).

I just find this thread to be an interesting case in time/space/otherpeople sensitivity thinking.
[Oh - and I know - we are all tough-hockey-guys here, so we should swing our big arms side-to-side and say "C'mon snowflake... rah,rah,rah" from the other side of our screens.]

[Rylant]

It’s definitely interesting to see how some people have reacted differently over the years. For me personally, I was never offended by Dr Seuss or Mr Potatohead or Aunt Jemima but I understand why some people are. I also understand why some companies feel the need to change due to public outcry, even is it’s not from a place of “trying to do the right thing”. A friend of mine does tend to get angry at people who are offended by these things and regularly loses his mind tossing out insults of “snowflake” and “fragile”. The last time he did this was because of the Edmonton Eskimos changing their name. He went on a rant about the “snowflakes” to the point where I told him I thought he was being silly. I ended up saying to him “So you are offended by the people who are offended? That’s kind of like being a snowflake about the snowflakes, isn’t it?”

Rylant

[Pengwin7]

I ended up saying to him “So you are offended by the people who are offended? That’s kind of like being a snowflake about the snowflakes, isn’t it?”

Rep.
That's one of the best quotes I've ever read.
I'm gonna use that!!!

[audiopile]

One could read the letter and give Shero props for being inclusive and celebrating the strengths of different races in 1977, or you could say it was racist stereotype and a sexist letter. Interpretation, what you want to see vs intent.

Yes we should strive to be more considerate of others, of course, but I also think some people are out there fanning flames and fueling fires that would otherwise not burn. We should also try to be less offend-able, and not let other people's opinions bother us. Tolerance works in both directions.

[Feenom]

These days I find people tend to have their own agendas. Politics play a big role but the usual factor that is missing, most times is plain common sense. Consider the time, source and meaning behind why people do what they do. Say what they say. Act the way they act. Sometimes it's reasons that we can never know or begin to understand. But people want to voice their opinions on others. Simpler times have come and gone. I applaud what Shero said......in 1977.