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Thread: The new parent advice thread!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    if your wife breastfeeds... you're the maid. To use a phrase from my older brother. That first year you will as 'useless as **** on a bull' -- Do as you're told and stay out of the way of the "MOM"

    heh. it's majority feed, sleep, poop. of course there's holding weird voiced talking etc. It's really 6mths when they start eating food and becoming mobile Dad starts to kick into high gear.

    Oh... and babies are nice to you about the poo! you're 5-6mth in before it becomes it really becomes gross, until then, it not the same.
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    I am a first time dad with a 4 month old. All the dads here on the forum are dishing out fantastic advice. I found that the most frightening/nervous thing was taking my daughter out of the hospital and bringing her home. Thats when the weight of it all hits you. No more nurses or doctors to take care of something you think is wrong, or may be wrong.

    You treat your baby like a Faberge Egg for those first few days. Every 3 hours they wake up and want to eat. That lasts for the first few months. So ya, only the dads here know what true sleep depravation is. Changing diapers at first is like doing surgury, after a while it becomes second nature and you get really, really good and fast at doing it.

    In general it hasnt really changed my life that much. At first I thought everything would change, but I still go out with the boys for beers once or twice a week. We still have people over for dinner and still get invited to friends houses for dinner too. Just try to relax and deal with everything day to day. Its ALL worth it the first time they smile at you !!!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Nice thread.. We are expecting our first at the end of May.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    When I have a spare hour, I'll try to come back and give you some advice. This coming from someone with two boys who are now 13 and 11 who were raised in a household with two working parents.
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by GinFizz View Post
    Nice thread.. We are expecting our first at the end of May.
    Congratulations! Babies for all!
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by ChilePuck View Post
    I found that the most frightening/nervous thing was taking my daughter out of the hospital and bringing her home.

    You treat your baby like a Faberge Egg for those first few days.
    This is how I felt when I bought my first and only smart phone in 2011.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    3 week olds just don't want to sleep when you do. They just don't. I have a beer open and double overtime in Ottawa is done. I wish it kept going.. she just doesn't sleep!
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Congrats dooley! Didn't read all the other comments, but if any of mine are the same, that will lend them credibility.

    1 - Your wife will not be logical while she is pregnant and/or has a new child. It is your job to be quiet, suck it up and tell her she's right. Then do whatever makes her feel loved. Have no fear, it will pass when the kids turns about 2... unless you have another kid... Then repeat steps above for a while.
    2 - Never, ever push your baby's legs up toward their head too far when you are changing a diaper. If you create too much pressure in the stomach area, you could force poo out of the anus like yer pumping the handle of a well! You'll figure out what is "too far". Good luck.
    3 - Do extra things around the house for your wife when the baby is young. If the missus is napping, get the laundry done, tidy up or start making dinner. These things make a relationship solid when its under a lot of stress with a baby.
    4 - In the first year, you need to learn to nap and sleep when you can. Doesn't matter when. Just sleep when you can.
    5 - Babys will drink a cold bottle if that is what they are used to. If you heat it up all the time, they'll need it hot all the time. You don't need the stress of trying to heat a bottle if you dont need to. Make things easy for yourself. It will not give them a tummy ache...
    6 - Create a routine for the baby. Especially a bed time routine. Do specific things all in a row so the baby knows its building up to bed time. Bath, sing songs (maybe even a special bed time song) when getting dressed, dim the lights, give them a baby massage, bottle, then say the same things as a goodnight. Do this without fail (when possible). Make the routine happen at the same time every night (where possible). Dont stop doing this when they are toddlers. Modify the routine as they grow up, but continue until they are at least into school. Kids respond to routine. They will go to sleep. Make sure your 5 year old is going to sleep at a proper time (7ish ... getting around 12 hours sleep) when they start school, the extra sleep will make them into learning machines. Routine is hard work, but the pay off is immense. Your baby will just "go to sleep" and you can relax with the missus without distraction and that is most definitely worth the trouble.
    7 - Take loads of pictures. You will anyway for the first baby, but make sure to get as many for the second one. They'll ask why there aren't as many pictures of them! hahah
    8 - Enjoy it when they are babies. Its a incredibly amazing time. Its hard, but you will look back fondly. Its a beautiful time. Bliss.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Just went back and read the thread! hahaha! The lads here are great! Congrats to all the other men who are also having children or have done so recently.

    I echo the comment about not giving a **** about what people think. **** them. You are living your life and raising your child the best you can. I ant got time for people who judge from the outside. No one knows whats going on for you guys. All family situations are different and different things work for different kids. My suggestions worked for me, but your mileage may vary. You are not doing it wrong.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    The two biggest adjustments for you will be compromise and sacrifice.

    Compromise = there is no rule book for raising children, what works for one baby will not work for another. Experiment, find out what works, what doesn't and roll with the punches.

    Sacrifice = it is no longer about you - put your child and wife first. You will not be able to continue to do EVERYTHING you did when you had no children, but once things settle down and the child gets past the infant stage, you can slowly get back to doing what you used to do before the child arrived.

    The infant stage might seem like an eternity at first, but time will fly by and the next thing you know you are helping them with their own children. Enjoy the moment, time goes by too fast.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    So much great stuff here, reading this thread actually got me choked up. It took me back to those first few years with my five-year-old and three-year-old. The advice here is gold. Sleep when your baby sleeps, routine is key, Routine is key, routine, is, key. Babies love the routine. My wife had got it to the point where my kids would ask for lunch at noon and ask for bed at 7pm.

    If I can add anything, it will be to say this, you're human, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to feel like you don't know what you're doing. That is normal, we all go through it. When you're feeling overwhelmed take five minutes put the baby in the crib, even if they cry, and just do something for yourself. Check your Twitter feed, check the forum. It's OK to let your baby cry. That is one thing that I learned early. Giving into your baby because they are crying is the number one mistake. They learn, they adapt, they are much smarter than you think. And they are manipulating you. If they want something and you don't want to give it to them because you know it's for their own good, let them cry they will learn to except it.

    And that brings us to the most important lesson here, sleep training. My wife and I went online and found the best way to do it and both of our kids were sleep trained in under a week. And the secret is so simple. Put them to bed at your desired time, and let them cry. They're going to cry for five, 10 maybe even 15 or 20 minutes, you have to resist the urge to go get them. They will stop eventually the next night, The cry half as much, and the next night even less or not at all and before you know it you'll have your kid in bed at 7 PM every night. And when they wake up in the night, unless it's an emergency like a diaper change, leave them there. They won't need to be fed throughout the night once they've hit three months. Like I said earlier it's all about routine. If they know they can get you to come in three times during the night, you will be going in three times every night for years. You're not hurting your baby by letting them cry, I promise you. My kids are perfect, but they're very well behaved, and their sleep schedules are amazing. Both my five-year-old and three-year-old go to bed each night at seven and wake up at 6:30. Neither of them woke up in the night. The hardest part is on you. Resisting the urge to go get your baby and console them. You need time for you and your wife and that time is the evenings, if you start early you'll be reaping the rewards for years. I know this came off sounding a little preachy but I want you to understand that Toughlove is required especially when it comes to sleep and eating routine's.

    I hope this helps, it certainly did for us and congratulations
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by agentzero View Post

    Don't ever be too tired to sing lullabies to help your baby sleep. You WILL be too tired, but don't be. He or she will need it and the mother will appreciate the help. Start with reading and lullabies in the womb. Baby will recognize your voice on the outside. Trust me. You can't breastfeed (if that's the plan) so do things that help: change her every time she needs when you are home. Rock her to sleep, etc. Do those things to help. You can't do much else early on.
    Don't underestimate the power of reading and singing to your kids. Great advice from Agent. It is proven that kids do better when they are read to from an early age. It is also good for the parents. They grow up fast, believe me, enjoy every minute. Recommended reading:
    Dr. Seuss - There is a Wocket in my Pocket
    Robert Munsch - Love you Forever
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by BradyJets View Post
    Lots of great suggestions here!

    I'll add one more. When your baby sleeps, you should sleep. Even if your house is a mess and dishes need to be done etc etc, ....SLEEP!!! Whatever time of day it is.

    People who are not parents say they're tired from staying out late or whatever. Only parents know what tired really means. Seriously. Remember this.
    This. We have twins, and we had a rule. If one baby was sleeping, one of us could also sleep. If two were sleeping, we would both sleep if needed. It didn't matter if vacuuming had to be done, or dishes, or laundry, or whatever. By doing it this way, we were both pretty well-rested. We also both took a year off work so it was easier with both of us home.

    Also, people will want to touch and carry your baby. Don't let them if you don't want them to. It's annoying how many strangers think you just automatically trust them. We once went to Tim Horton's, and after ordering our sandwiches, the woman came from behind the counter and said something like "I'll hold your babies while you're eating" and then just reached out her arms like we were going to automatically hand them over. A complete stranger. I barely trusted her to make my sandwich correctly, much less hold my babies.

    Women at the mall do this too. The babies are sleeping in the stroller, and people just come right up to the kids face, touching them and pretty much waking them up. So much for the peaceful time I was having.

    Zippers on the baby's clothes is a tremendous thing. When you're changing a poo in the middle of the night, it's a lot easier to zipper the onesie back up than to button 15 buttons.

    Babies make a lot of noise when they sleep. They grunt, gurgle, make breathing noises, etc. It freaked us out at first because we thought they were uncomfortable.

    Also, get in a routine as soon as possible. They were about 16 months before we started giving them a bedtime routine and putting them to bed at 8 p.m. It took a couple of months before they got used to it. My three sisters-in-law all had kids around the same time and never did it. Now all the kids are about six, and our kids are generally in bed by 8:30. Their kids stay up until 11 or midnight and the parents, and the kids, are always exhausted.

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  14. #44
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by BreadManPanarin View Post
    Is the baby's name Koroll?

    After Blackhawks winger Cliff Koroll?

    haha no we're not naming baby after uncle cliff although i'm sure he'd be happy about it lol!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by agentzero View Post
    Lucafen has given you the most complete advice I would give. Congratulations! I am in week 3 of parenting and everything Lucafen has said is true. Month 1, just survive. Don't waste money on baby clothes. People will give you lots of clothes. Lots. They spend the first month in onesies and pyjamas.. Don't buy expensive clothes. Don't fall for it.

    Don't ever be too tired to sing lullabies to help your baby sleep. You WILL be too tired, but don't be. He or she will need it and the mother will appreciate the help. Start with reading and lullabies in the womb. Baby will recognize your voice on the outside. Trust me. You can't breastfeed (if that's the plan) so do things that help: change her every time she needs when you are home. Rock her to sleep, etc. Do those things to help. You can't do much else early on.

    It's amazing and I tell you, like Lucafen did, that there is nothing like seeing your child for the first time. It's crazy. Also, take the opportunity to do skin to skin contact with your child after the mother has, if you can. It helps form the development bond way more than you'd think. If even just for a little, try and do it. Mom for sure, but you too.

    Good luck! Survive!
    thanks man appreciate the advice!
    still kind of blown away that my wife is literally making a child haha

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Magicstew View Post
    Don't underestimate the power of reading and singing to your kids. Great advice from Agent. It is proven that kids do better when they are read to from an early age. It is also good for the parents. They grow up fast, believe me, enjoy every minute. Recommended reading:
    Dr. Seuss - There is a Wocket in my Pocket
    Robert Munsch - Love you Forever
    I'm a huge Dr. Seuss fan. I think I like reading those books more than the kids like listening to them. Wocket in my Pocket was a favourite from my childhood. I would also add:

    Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book
    and
    Yertle the Turtle. Quite possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking. ("She's got that right!", chimes in Wiggum).

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