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Thread: The new parent advice thread!

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    Default The new parent advice thread!

    Fellas,

    Before I got married, I asked for your advice.
    Before I went to Chicago, Atlanta, Philly, NJ, Hong Kong, Shanghai etc, I asked for your advice.
    When my team shit(s) the bed, I asked for your advice.

    So here I am again!
    The wife and I are expecting and are pumped, she's 12 weeks and we just announced to friends last night (first pregnancy).

    Lay it on me!
    Advice? Suggestions? Horror/Funny Stories? What to expect? What not to expect?

    PS. My wife is a self proclaimed pinterest goddess and designer extraordinaire lol sooooo we jumped the gun and the baby room is done, oops!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Congratulations! Lots of fun, stress and lack of sleep coming your way!

    A lot of things changed with kids, but the funny thing was, I didn't really end up missing what changed? It was kind of weird.

    Main thing is, you can listen to what others have to say, but don't ever let anyone tell you what you are doing is wrong or feel like you are failing. There are so many ways to raise a kid, and it is so much work as it is, that you don't need people crapping all over you for the way you are doing things. Every kid is different, every family is different, find out what works for you and have fun with it!

    And you're going to screw up. It happens, but they are far more resilient than you might think. One story from me that is funny now but I felt terribly bad about at the time (and for a long time after): I was carrying the little one on my shoulders, she was 9 months or so? Went to lift her off... right into a ceiling fan. I still cringe thinking about it now. We freaked out, she cried, but was totally fine, and today she is way ahead of her class, reading, spelling, writing, math, she's a smart cookie so thank goodness I didn't screw anything up.

    And yes, I did get on a stool and put my head in the ceiling fan after to find out how hard she was hit. It was pretty hard.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Congratulations man!!!!

    I got one word for you - EASY

    E - eat
    A - awake
    S - sleep
    Y - your time


    This principle is from the book called Becoming Baby Wise https://www.amazon.ca/Becoming-Baby-.../dp/1932740139

    I 100% recommend that you and your wife read this and live by it.

    My wife and I are both, let's say precise (trying to avoid the word controlling) and we followed the principles laid out in this book as much as we could and our little guy napped so well for us.

    We had some friends that had a little one around the same time and they just made it up as they went a long and they had a baby that was up all the time and never liked to sleep.

    One other important thing to remember is that you CANNOT rock your baby to sleep every single time or it will become dependant on it. At a certain age you have to learn to let them cry (I know, it is easier said than done, but it totally pays off)

    Anyways... that is my biggest suggestion, feel free to PM me if you want any more information or just need to talk or need motivation along the way.

    And again... Congrats, it truly is a gift beyond all gifts when you get to become a parent!!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Don't have any advice raising a kid since I don't have any that i know of but congratulations! very big blessing to have a child


    btw the room looks nice

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by PenguinHunter View Post
    Congratulations man!!!!

    I got one word for you - EASY

    E - eat
    A - awake
    S - sleep
    Y - your time


    This principle is from the book called Becoming Baby Wise https://www.amazon.ca/Becoming-Baby-.../dp/1932740139

    I 100% recommend that you and your wife read this and live by it.

    My wife and I are both, let's say precise (trying to avoid the word controlling) and we followed the principles laid out in this book as much as we could and our little guy napped so well for us.

    We had some friends that had a little one around the same time and they just made it up as they went a long and they had a baby that was up all the time and never liked to sleep.

    One other important thing to remember is that you CANNOT rock your baby to sleep every single time or it will become dependant on it. At a certain age you have to learn to let them cry (I know, it is easier said than done, but it totally pays off)

    Anyways... that is my biggest suggestion, feel free to PM me if you want any more information or just need to talk or need motivation along the way.

    And again... Congrats, it truly is a gift beyond all gifts when you get to become a parent!!
    I do agree with this as well. Routine is typically key for kids, and we did work hard to help them learn to fall asleep on their own.

    Again though, every kid is different. Our first one we didn't learn to get a routine going until about 9 months. We struggled before, but after we set the routine, she was an amazing sleeper, so it worked! Our second, we set a routine immediately, almost from day one. But it didn't work. Nothing we did could get her to sleep well and we tried it all for weeks at a time. She eventually got there, but in the end, all kids are just different, so if it doesn't work for you, don't feel like it's something you're doing wrong.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kofax View Post
    I do agree with this as well. Routine is typically key for kids, and we did work hard to help them learn to fall asleep on their own.

    Again though, every kid is different. Our first one we didn't learn to get a routine going until about 9 months. We struggled before, but after we set the routine, she was an amazing sleeper, so it worked! Our second, we set a routine immediately, almost from day one. But it didn't work. Nothing we did could get her to sleep well and we tried it all for weeks at a time. She eventually got there, but in the end, some kids are just different.
    Yes, true! I agree!

    I guess the main thing behind EASY is that you want to try and prevent your baby from relying on something to help it fall asleep... whether it be rocking it to sleep, or feeding it to sleep, or anything of sorts. But as Kofax mentions it is different for each child... but its the bigger principle idea that I recommend from the book!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    1. BABY BRAIN IS REAL! Seriously. She will, one day, sooner than you think, be holding something IN HER HAND and blame you for losing it.
    2. Until the child is born. She is right, you don't f-- with a woman who is getting larger, knows she is getting larger andknows she is only going to get larger still. Add in the water retention,swollen ankles, inability to sleep (3rd trimester) SHE IS RIGHT!
    3. Let her nest. Realistically, you don’t need all the baby stuff on day one, we didn’tneed a crib until she was almost one. We had a bassinette and she slept besidethe bed, made for easy midnight snacking (our daughter, not wife) – so if moneyis a concern – you CAN spread out the spending.
    4. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t – get used to it. Babies poop A LOT. Thepower and force they generate will astound you. You cannot prepare yourself forit. And no matter how well you master diapers – there will be poo-splosions& sh*tcidents that you cannot fathom or prepare for. You’re conversations will revolve around thelatest sh*tcident. It will consume your life.

    5. Baby Brain… it doesn’t go away after the child is born.It is a life long condition. You will need to just deal with it, accept it,consume more alcohol
    6. DO NOT! DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT, Promise to give updrinking with her! That is your biggest mistake. You need to drink. You need tosurvive!
    7. ok.. I mentioned sh*t. There will be lots.
    8. Costco – Diapers & wipes – best deal and the Kirklandbrand wipes are actually WET. They clean what needs to be cleaned. Literally 2kirkland wipes does the work of 8-10 Huggies wipes. It’s worth the cost ofmembership & line ups. There is no comparable. They will also take an open box of diapersback – if you get them home and realized that little loveable squirt grew lastnight and they no longer fit.
    9. Spoil that woman.Flowers, treats, little romantic gestures. Seriously. What she is doing isamazing and unexplainable. Make her know you appreciate it and her.
    10. Cherish every GD moment. Your lives are about to changeforever in the best way imaginable. Take that extra minute before bed orleaving in the morning to soak it in.
    11. At the hospital… make sure drugs are on the deliveryplan – at least make them readily available. For F—k sakes let her have drugs!
    12. You have 2 jobs in delivery. You are the official Shaved Ice manand secondly – stay the f—k out of the way! Heh.
    13. Take a deep breath. Nothing will prepare you for themoment you see your child for the first time. You’ll never experience anything likeit ever again.

    Congrats man!
    Follow me on twitter: @doylelb4

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by lucafen4 View Post
    1. BABY BRAIN IS REAL! Seriously. She will, one day, sooner than you think, be holding something IN HER HAND and blame you for losing it.
    2. Until the child is born. She is right, you don't f-- with a woman who is getting larger, knows she is getting larger andknows she is only going to get larger still. Add in the water retention,swollen ankles, inability to sleep (3rd trimester) SHE IS RIGHT!
    3. Let her nest. Realistically, you don’t need all the baby stuff on day one, we didn’tneed a crib until she was almost one. We had a bassinette and she slept besidethe bed, made for easy midnight snacking (our daughter, not wife) – so if moneyis a concern – you CAN spread out the spending.
    4. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t – get used to it. Babies poop A LOT. Thepower and force they generate will astound you. You cannot prepare yourself forit. And no matter how well you master diapers – there will be poo-splosions& sh*tcidents that you cannot fathom or prepare for. You’re conversations will revolve around thelatest sh*tcident. It will consume your life.

    5. Baby Brain… it doesn’t go away after the child is born.It is a life long condition. You will need to just deal with it, accept it,consume more alcohol
    6. DO NOT! DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT, Promise to give updrinking with her! That is your biggest mistake. You need to drink. You need tosurvive!
    7. ok.. I mentioned sh*t. There will be lots.
    8. Costco – Diapers & wipes – best deal and the Kirklandbrand wipes are actually WET. They clean what needs to be cleaned. Literally 2kirkland wipes does the work of 8-10 Huggies wipes. It’s worth the cost ofmembership & line ups. There is no comparable. They will also take an open box of diapersback – if you get them home and realized that little loveable squirt grew lastnight and they no longer fit.
    9. Spoil that woman.Flowers, treats, little romantic gestures. Seriously. What she is doing isamazing and unexplainable. Make her know you appreciate it and her.
    10. Cherish every GD moment. Your lives are about to changeforever in the best way imaginable. Take that extra minute before bed orleaving in the morning to soak it in.
    11. At the hospital… make sure drugs are on the deliveryplan – at least make them readily available. For F—k sakes let her have drugs!
    12. You have 2 jobs in delivery. You are the official Shaved Ice manand secondly – stay the f—k out of the way! Heh.
    13. Take a deep breath. Nothing will prepare you for themoment you see your child for the first time. You’ll never experience anything likeit ever again.

    Congrats man!
    Great comments... in addition to this... she will get mad at you for no reason, and say some pretty cruel things to you. No matter what, try not to let these get to you.... it is not her... it is 100 percent the hormonal in-balance... try to be like a duck and let the water slip off your back!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kofax View Post
    Congratulations! Lots of fun, stress and lack of sleep coming your way!

    A lot of things changed with kids, but the funny thing was, I didn't really end up missing what changed? It was kind of weird.

    Main thing is, you can listen to what others have to say, but don't ever let anyone tell you what you are doing is wrong or feel like you are failing. There are so many ways to raise a kid, and it is so much work as it is, that you don't need people crapping all over you for the way you are doing things. Every kid is different, every family is different, find out what works for you and have fun with it!

    And you're going to screw up. It happens, but they are far more resilient than you might think. One story from me that is funny now but I felt terribly bad about at the time (and for a long time after): I was carrying the little one on my shoulders, she was 9 months or so? Went to lift her off... right into a ceiling fan. I still cringe thinking about it now. We freaked out, she cried, but was totally fine, and today she is way ahead of her class, reading, spelling, writing, math, she's a smart cookie so thank goodness I didn't screw anything up.

    And yes, I did get on a stool and put my head in the ceiling fan after to find out how hard she was hit. It was pretty hard.
    That's a great story haha, I think that's the biggest thing I've been told is that it's always different for everyone, no matter what!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by PenguinHunter View Post
    Congratulations man!!!!

    I got one word for you - EASY

    E - eat
    A - awake
    S - sleep
    Y - your time


    This principle is from the book called Becoming Baby Wise https://www.amazon.ca/Becoming-Baby-.../dp/1932740139

    I 100% recommend that you and your wife read this and live by it.

    My wife and I are both, let's say precise (trying to avoid the word controlling) and we followed the principles laid out in this book as much as we could and our little guy napped so well for us.

    We had some friends that had a little one around the same time and they just made it up as they went a long and they had a baby that was up all the time and never liked to sleep.

    One other important thing to remember is that you CANNOT rock your baby to sleep every single time or it will become dependant on it. At a certain age you have to learn to let them cry (I know, it is easier said than done, but it totally pays off)

    Anyways... that is my biggest suggestion, feel free to PM me if you want any more information or just need to talk or need motivation along the way.

    And again... Congrats, it truly is a gift beyond all gifts when you get to become a parent!!
    I'll have to check it out for sure!
    Friends of ours had a baby on Valentines Day and she has yet to sleep on her own, uh oh!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by StuntMan12 View Post
    Don't have any advice raising a kid since I don't have any that i know of but congratulations! very big blessing to have a child


    btw the room looks nice
    Thanks man, I love the room, she put me to work that's for sure!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by lucafen4 View Post
    1. BABY BRAIN IS REAL! Seriously. She will, one day, sooner than you think, be holding something IN HER HAND and blame you for losing it.
    2. Until the child is born. She is right, you don't f-- with a woman who is getting larger, knows she is getting larger andknows she is only going to get larger still. Add in the water retention,swollen ankles, inability to sleep (3rd trimester) SHE IS RIGHT!
    3. Let her nest. Realistically, you don’t need all the baby stuff on day one, we didn’tneed a crib until she was almost one. We had a bassinette and she slept besidethe bed, made for easy midnight snacking (our daughter, not wife) – so if moneyis a concern – you CAN spread out the spending.
    4. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t – get used to it. Babies poop A LOT. Thepower and force they generate will astound you. You cannot prepare yourself forit. And no matter how well you master diapers – there will be poo-splosions& sh*tcidents that you cannot fathom or prepare for. You’re conversations will revolve around thelatest sh*tcident. It will consume your life.

    5. Baby Brain… it doesn’t go away after the child is born.It is a life long condition. You will need to just deal with it, accept it,consume more alcohol
    6. DO NOT! DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT, Promise to give updrinking with her! That is your biggest mistake. You need to drink. You need tosurvive!
    7. ok.. I mentioned sh*t. There will be lots.
    8. Costco – Diapers & wipes – best deal and the Kirklandbrand wipes are actually WET. They clean what needs to be cleaned. Literally 2kirkland wipes does the work of 8-10 Huggies wipes. It’s worth the cost ofmembership & line ups. There is no comparable. They will also take an open box of diapersback – if you get them home and realized that little loveable squirt grew lastnight and they no longer fit.
    9. Spoil that woman.Flowers, treats, little romantic gestures. Seriously. What she is doing isamazing and unexplainable. Make her know you appreciate it and her.
    10. Cherish every GD moment. Your lives are about to changeforever in the best way imaginable. Take that extra minute before bed orleaving in the morning to soak it in.
    11. At the hospital… make sure drugs are on the deliveryplan – at least make them readily available. For F—k sakes let her have drugs!
    12. You have 2 jobs in delivery. You are the official Shaved Ice manand secondly – stay the f—k out of the way! Heh.
    13. Take a deep breath. Nothing will prepare you for themoment you see your child for the first time. You’ll never experience anything likeit ever again.

    Congrats man!
    I am going to print this and put it somewhere haha, love it - thank you!
    Feel like she has baby brain already lol!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Lots of great suggestions here!

    I'll add one more. When your baby sleeps, you should sleep. Even if your house is a mess and dishes need to be done etc etc, ....SLEEP!!! Whatever time of day it is.

    People who are not parents say they're tired from staying out late or whatever. Only parents know what tired really means. Seriously. Remember this.

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    as things come to me I'm just going to add..

    14. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINIONON WHAT YOU SHOULDDO. Tell them all to F---K OFF!Seriously, random strangers will tell you how to raise your child. They’llask (my biggest pet peeve) if you’re finding out or not, the gender no matter what YOURCHOICE IS – they will tell you their opinion, if it differs, you arewrong.I’ve walked away rudely fromseveral people and made some seriously jackassory comments in response.
    Story!

    My wife and her sister were Christmas shopping when ourdaughter was 4mths old. It was rainy and cold. She just pulled her out of hercar seat when she unloaded the biggest, nastiest poo-splosion known to us tothis day. It exploded through both legs of the diaper, up the front and back ofthe diaper (I put it on, it was PERFECT) the poo came out the wrists of her onesie. It covered her neck to her chin and went upinto the back of her hair.They had amassive oh-shit moment, because the diaper bag apparently was missing a changeof clothes, which were sitting on the table by the front door of her Mothershouse (forgot to put it back in as she packed the bag to go out – baby brain).They stripped her buck naked in the rainy parking lot pulled out the KIRKLANDWIPES – and started cleaning, one held with finger tips, while the other wiped.At least sixty wipes were used to gether transportable. They buckled her up and drove home.I spent the next hour scrubbing the car seat.


    Sh*tcidents. They are real.
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    When people offer to come over and help, especially in the early days... make sure they are people that you trust will actually help.

    We had some friends that offered to come over and help cook us a meal and such... they came over and did not help very much and made it more stressful because they stayed for 4 hours.

    But if someone does offer to come and help... (and you think they will actually help) do not turn them down and think you can manage by yourselves, take the help, even if it is someone just to hang out with your wife and baby while you catch a hour of sleep. Take these opportunities whenever they arise!

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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Man... my wife and I are planning to start trying to have our first in a few months. This thread scares me haha.

    I run a small business and need to be on my A game every day. I don't function that great on lack of sleep. Pretty sure this thread convinced me to have my wife quit her job a few months before giving birth and not start again until our child is at least 2, if ever. My job will be putting money in the bank, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, changing poopy diapers, and her end-all-be-all concern will be doing whatever it takes to make sure I get my 7-8 hours of sleep. LOL

    Realistic?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BreadManPanarin View Post
    Man... my wife and I are planning to start trying to have our first in a few months. This thread scares me haha.

    I run a small business and need to be on my A game every day. I don't function that great on lack of sleep. Pretty sure this thread convinced me to have my wife quit her job a few months before giving birth and not start again until our child is at least 2, if ever. My job will be putting money in the bank, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, changing poopy diapers, and her end-all-be-all concern will be doing whatever it takes to make sure I get my 7-8 hours of sleep. LOL

    Realistic?
    forget about a clean house... other than that...
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    Default Re: The new parent advice thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by lucafen4 View Post
    forget about a clean house... other than that...
    Good! That makes my job easier lol.

    I already bring in 80% of the family income, do most of the grocery shopping, cook most of the dinners, and do most of the cleaning... so it wouldn't be a huge adjustment for me.

    She would just be spending 9 hours a day taking care of the baby instead of working as a kindergarten teacher, and then another 9 hours a day taking care of the baby instead of doing beauty treatments, doing her hobbies, and ****ing around on the internet.

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