The new parent advice thread!

[Invictus]

Are you sterilizing after every use??

UV light sanitizer works great too.

[hockeyrobot]

I strongly agree with EB's three main tips.

1. Food >>>>>>>> any other gift, card, tiny clothing, flowers. Those first few weeks your life has been flipped upside down. Finding the time and energy to make food is near impossible.

2. Two things that always came up in the books I read were the following; 1. Babies are tough and resilient. 2. All babies are different. Googling every single new thing they're doing will drive your wife crazy. Try to avoid it as much as possible. If you're really concerned you should be talking to your pediatrician.

3. Anything involving pumping is incredibly time consuming for the wife. I know formula is expensive, but if breast feeding isn't working I would recommend it to anyone. The mental health of your wife is more important than the dollars you will drop at the store. The week after birth my son and my wife had separate hospital stays. While they were separated we obviously had to feed him so he lost all interest in breast feeding during that week. So my wife pumped for about 2 months after that. When she finally threw in the towel our whole lives changed. She had more energy, was in a way better mood and was now able to spend so much more time with our guy.

[saucelife90]

Man, I wish I knew about this thread a year ago when we had our first!

Honestly, the main piece of advice I'm going to give is - Roll with the punches. You can prep, have all the "needed gadgets" to make your life easier, take all the classes available etc. etc. etc. At the end of the day, most of it goes out the window and a lot of it doesn't work for your situation. One week your baby won't sleep no matter what you do, and the next week they sleep like an angel. Same goes with eating. Keeping a routine helps, but sometimes they just do what they want.

During pregnancy my wife (border line hypochondriac) was worried about all kinds of things & rightfully so for a first time mother/parent. Whether she was eating the right foods/amounts, drinking enough water, if he would latch for feedings when he was born, etc. At one point she had convinced herself he was going to be born without an arm because she couldn't see two in an ultra sound (despite us seeing two in previous ultrasounds). We laugh about it now, but I was extremely delicate in her telling her that the stress of putting all this pressure on herself, and in turn the baby, may actually be more harmful than any of the other things. I would bring up the fact that it wasn't uncommon for our parent's generation to smoke/drink during pregnancies, and most​ of us turned out just fine. The main line I would use was pretty blunt, but I would say "There are mothers who are addicted to drugs who end up having healthy babies, if you want to eat some deli meat because that's what you're craving then go ahead, he'll be fine."
A smart man once said - Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Meal prepping before hand is extremely helpful! We cooked a bunch of breakfast casseroles, breakfast sandwiches, pasta dishes, and some other quick and easy dinners that we could throw in our deep freeze and just defrost -> toss in the microwave/oven for those days you have 0 energy and don't feel like cooking. Saves a ton of time post-birth when time can be limited!

*BREATHE* - For the first 3 months after our son was born, 4:30-5:30 was witching hour. No matter what we did, he would cry non-stop during that time. Tried feeding him, changing him, taking him for a drive, getting him to nap around 4 so he would be asleep during that time (he'd just wake up and cry). Nothing worked. It was particularly frustrating for me because that was the time I'd get home from work and be excited to see him, but he was always in a sour mood. I tried not taking it personally, and it was hard, but getting frustrated during those times doesn't help. Just breathe and know it will pass (IT WILL PASS!).

The cliché of time flies is an understatement. It feels like yesterday we were in the hospital room wide eyed, nervous, and excited about what was to come - he turns 1 next month. Don't blink, take it all in, enjoy even the bad days, and take lots of pictures!

Luckily for us, in another 7ish months, we get to do it all over again

[newfcollins]

Luckily for us, in another 7ish months, we get to do it all over again

Nice! Congrats! Hopefully the lessons learned from the first will help for the second!

[Eskimo Brother]

Congrats and good luck on the new pregnancy saucelife. For us witching hour is anytime after 6pm that you try and put her down to sleep. She's fine until you try and get her to nap, and then she goes nuts.

For the sterilizing, my wife is keen on clean, so we sterilize the pump once a day, the bottles after every use, and the pacifiers every day or two or when they fall on the floor.

[senryu]

Man, I wish I knew about this thread a year ago when we had our first!


Luckily for us, in another 7ish months, we get to do it all over again

Congrats! Not to jinx it, but my experience with baby #2 was that the process of that first six months seemed so much easier than with the first one. Probably because we didn't worry about every little thing and we had put in the reps. But if you or your partner is the kind of person that needs alone time to recharge or settle down, well, get ready for that to fly out the window. You'll adapt, of course, everyone does. When we had one, having two seemed like a ridiculous nightmare. Now that we have two, it seems totally normal and having three seems like a ridiculous nightmare. Good thoughts to you and your growing family.

[saucelife90]

Thanks for the well wishes & kind words!

We've heard the 2nd is easier, but in all honesty, I can't even say the first was hard. Life is what you make of it, and sure there are times when you're sleep deprived or just having a rough go, but all it takes is one smile from your little one and instantly none of that matters.

[Feenom]

Thanks for the well wishes & kind words!

We've heard the 2nd is easier, but in all honesty, I can't even say the first was hard. Life is what you make of it, and sure there are times when you're sleep deprived or just having a rough go, but all it takes is one smile from your little one and instantly none of that matters.

Awesome stuff. Congrats and you are on point that no matter how bad your day is going one smile or giggle from the little people and BOOM all is good again.

[agentzero]

I don’t know if I mentioned it here before, but invest in sleep training. Do it at 4-5 months. Not before and no later but do it. It works and it’s life changing. Love seeing all the new parents here. Stick with it everyone. It gets better and better, except when my girls will start dating. Then it gets worse lol.

[hockeyrobot]

I don’t know if I mentioned it here before, but invest in sleep training. Do it at 4-5 months. Not before and no later but do it. It works and it’s life changing. Love seeing all the new parents here. Stick with it everyone. It gets better and better, except when my girls will start dating. Then it gets worse lol.

We're almost at 4 months now and we've started a sleep training program. Fingers crossed because I've been going to bed at like 9:30 lately lol.

[GinFizz]

My daughter is 4yrs old now and my biggest takeaway from this experience is that everything is a phase. She used to be a wonderful eater, now she is so picky its not even funny any longer. As parents, we have stuck to the premise of "dont like your dinner?, fine.. there is a plain yougurt in the fridge for you. Thats it nothing more nor less". she eats a lot of yougurt... lol