Merry Trade Deadline Eve everyone! I am about 65% sure I am going to call in sick to work tomorrow. I have a long standing tradition of doing nothing on Deadline Day except sitting at home, eating chicken wings and celebrating the underwhelmingness of it all. This is my first year out of college and first year with a job on Deadline Day so obviously I need to pull out all the stops. What are your best excuses for getting out of work to celebrate hockey Christmas?
The Tampa Bay Lightning resolved some of their road woes against the New Jersey Devils in their 4-3 win. Martin St. Louis went off registering a hattrick and four points in all. When asked about the performance St. Louis had this to say, “This is my goal every game, scoring a hattrick. Why else would we ask our goalies to spot the other team three goals each night? It’s simple really. If you want to reach a goal you have to put that challenge out there and Garon even helped me with an assist tonight so in that regard our goalies are doing a fantastic job.”
Devils defenseman Marek Zidlicky picked up where he left off in Minnesota going minus-2 with a couple of giveaways. Zidlicky was emphatic in his praise for the team today, “Just a great game for the team today. I’m so happy to be joining the team on this road trip. I mean, having guys like St. Louis and Stamkos as teammates. You can’t ask for better... wait... what?”
Pittsburgh Penguins rookie goaltender Brad Thiessen recorded his 21st victory in the AHL this season with a 4-2 win over the Columbus Professional Hockey Team. What was truly outstanding was that it came despite some real strong breaks in favour of Columbus. It is unclear whether the league was simply taking pity on the Windbreakers or if they simply hate Chris Kunitz (I have 100 bucks on the latter) but two Penguins goals were dubiously called back on misplays by Chris Kunitz. The first was a kick in goal that was debatably correct. The second was a phantom goaltender interference call on a goal by Kris Letang (do not fret, Letang scored a minute later). The only way that was goaltender interference is if Kunitz is in fact Demi Moore and the ghost of Patrick Swayze has been sent back to go Roadhouse on unsuspecting goaltenders.
To their credit, the Penguins did not complain about the calls, which would have been bad taste. Kind of like complaining about where you have to play when you are receiving millions of dollars to do so.
Roberto Luongo is rounding into playoff form, blowing a 2-0 lead to the Dallas Stars on Sunday, falling 3-2 in overtime.
Speaking of blowing leads, the San Jose Sharks should change their name to the Dolphins because they most definitely have blowholes. After going up 2-0 and again 3-2 half way through the third the Sharks blew it allowing the Minnesota Wild to score two late goals and steal the game 4-3.
This just compounds things as the Sharks have also blown their lead in the Pacific Division. They now sit two points back of Phoenix for the division lead and are sitting in seventh in the West. Fortunately for the Porpoises they are migrating back to familiar territory after a gruelling nine game road swing.
Don't sleep on the symbolism of Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau and Brent Burns each scoring two points in the loss. If that wasn't meant to represent the fat turd they have laid this month then I'm off my meds (Edit: Don't sleep on this possibility either).
The Florida Panthers just keep on trucking. Now their new top line is Bergenheim-Weiss-Samuelsson. Seriously, is this the worst top line in the NHL? They combined to light up the Habs and Peter Budaj for eight points on Sunday, so what do I know? The silver lining here is that no one is dumb enough to actually roster Peter Budaj. Well except of course Pierre Gauthier.
Also, when did Ed Jovanovski return from injury? I mean, this guy is so far off the radar only Jack Bauer could bring him back. And by Jack Bauer, I of course mean his new alias Martin Bohm and his all knowing jedi son.
The Ottawa Senators started slowly on Sunday but wound up romping the visiting Islanders 5-2. Erik Karlsson only had two points and was frankly a complete and total disappointment. I mean, Nick Foligno, PA Parenteau, Chris Neil, Travis Hamonic and Kyle Turris each had two also so really big whoop Karlsson.
Sens rookie netminder Robin Lehner was solid though despite word that the team had brought in a mythical man-giant to compete for the backup role to Craig Anderson. Lost in all of this is of course Alex Auld, the Senators current backup, but that’s probably because he has been secretly retired for three years now.
The Anaheim Ducks continued to roll with a home victory over the slumping Chicago Blackhawks. To be fair, this win was not exactly big as the Blackhawks continue to do their best Columbus impersonation when they travel on the road.
Teemu Selanne led the way for the Ducks with a goal and an assist along with eight SOG. Ducks coach Bruce Boudreau had this to say after the game, "Teemu's a *expletive* *expletive* beauty. I want to *expletive* kiss him on the*expletive* mouth. In my mind there's only one *expletive* number eight, and that’s Teemu *expletive* Selanne. *Expletive* all the other *expletive* *expletive* *expletive* who wear that *expletive* number. They are all *expletive* wannabe *expletive* who deserve to *expletive* expletive* expletive*expletive* in their *expletive*expletive* with an *expletive*expletive* yellow *expletive*expletive* tea kettle *expletive* and a drink a bag of *expletive* sour milk so that they *expletive*expletive* in a *expletive* bathtub."
One can only guess he was unimpressed by Nick Leddy's one assist tonight against his club.
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02/26/12 - Studs & Duds
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