02/19/12 Studs & Duds

[metaldude26]

Late release but here are your Studs & Duds for Sunday.

Yesterday was a busy day in the NHL as they were celebrating Hockey Day in America. In semi-related news there were special sports holidays in other nations as well like Golf Day in Russia, Cricket Day in Finland, Snowboard Day in Egypt and Bobsled Day in Jamaica.

For their special broadcast of Hockey Day in America NBC somehow managed to get their wires crossed so viewers hoping to see the Buffalo Sabres get trounced by the Pittsburgh Penguins instead were shown the latest episode of AMC's The Walking Dead. Or at least that's how it seemed as all of the Sabres zombies hit the scoresheet. I'd name them but they are all dead to me.

The irony of course is that much like this season of The Walking Dead the Sabres season is going absolutely nowhere.

Here's to hoping that stench emanating off Kris Letang on Sunday was not the result of getting bitten by one of the zombie-Sabres but rather just a one-time dookie in his pants.

The Detroit Red Wings won their 23rd straight game at home but when told they had to travel to Chicago to play the Blackhawks in their next game the entire locker room regressed screaming about how they didn't want to go and how no one could make them. Joey MacDonald who lost both road games he has played this season threatened to lock himself in his room while Ian White started to hold his breath until his face turned as red as his jersey. Todd Bertuzzi screamed about how no one will ever know what it's like to be him.

Those Blackhawks meanwhile played their first home game since the All-Star Break and claimed a big come-from-behind victory over the visiting St. Louis Blues. Blackhawks netminder, Corey Crawford, the game's first star explained that it's great to be home knowing that when he shits the bed at least some stranger doesn't have to clean it up.

Duncan Keith, who had a goal and an assist but left his dentures on the road, added, "Asht home there'sh jusht a lotsh lessh presshure."

Minnesota Wild netminder Niklas Backstrom stopped all 48 shots he faced on Sunday in a shutout victory over the visiting Bruins. The inanimate brick wall standing in front of his locker after the game had no comment.

The Darche-Plekanec-Bourque line was on the ice for all three goals against on Sunday, combining for an awful minus-nine rating. When asked about it Plekanec responded saying, "At least I'm not as bad as Scott Gomez!" Touche, Mr. Plekanec.

Studs & Duds whipping boy Jonas Hiller put a lid on the Florida Panthers goal on Sunday, stopping all 31 shots he faced. That should be excellent practice for his future career as a Barista.

The New York Rangers were embarrassed on Sunday by the visiting Columbus Windbreakers, allowing two goals in their 3-2 overtime victory. After the mediocre performance Rangers netminder Henrik Lundqvist said, "At least my hair is immaculate."

The Winnipeg Jets clobbered the visiting Colorado Avalanche 5-1 on Sunday. Avs netminder Semyon Varlamov allowed all five goals on 25 shots. The depressing part for the depth starved Avalanche was watching the goaltender they traded their first round pick for get lit up by the Jets' former first rounders Evander Kane, Blake Wheeler and Bryan Little. Oh what cruel irony!

The Vancouver Canucks scorched the Edmonton Oilers in the late game Sunday. Apparently, Hockey DAY in America is limited to just that. You would hate to take away from the networks' Sunday night programming by showing something as outrageous as hockey.

[Man_not_Puck]

had to laugh at the Keith line (now where the hell are my teef?)

[Shoeless]

This has my vote for the best Studs and Duds ever - hilarious!!