Conversations

[Mater]

Fantastic reads. (A little embarrassing as I have also learned a few things that I MAY have done in past)

[Shake]

Shoeless is in Dobberhockey hall of fame, I think when all said and done this thread goes into dobberhockey hall of fame as well

[First Round Pick]

dobbercomics

Seems like it would be a demented comic marriage between Calvin and Hobbs and Dilbert. And how appropriate with Shoeless' avatar!!

[Shoeless]

Sludge: Hey Shoeless, would you mind giving me a little advice on a trade deal I am negotiating with a team in our league.
Shoeless: Well, that kind of sounds like it might be a conflict of interest for me. Not sure I’m comfortable with that.
Sludge: Oh no, nothing too heavy, I just want you to take a quick look at it and let me know if you think the values on each side are in the same ballpark.
Shoeless: Well, I suppose I could do that. Who’s in the deal at the moment?
Sludge: Well I really want to get my hands on Kopitar and I am offering Duchene and Letang.
Shoeless: Jeez Sludge, that seems like a pretty hefty overpay when you consider the categories in our league.
Sludge: Yeah, yeah,I know, but I really want Kopitar, so I figure if I overpay then he can hardly refuse, right?
Shoeless: Well, that’s probably right. So, if Kopitar is who you want and you are okay with overpaying to get him – what do you want from me?
Sludge: I just want to hear from you that I’m not losing the deal and then I will go ahead with it.
Shoeless: But Sludge, I think you are losing the deal. Kopitar is a rising stud for sure, but Letang is sitting on the doorstep of studdom himself and Duchene seems to be about to join them there in a year or two at the worst.
Sludge: No, I don’t see it as losing the deal, I mean I am getting the guy I want and I am satisfied to overpay to get him. So how can I be losing the deal?
Shoeless: Uh huh. I see your point. I guess if you look it that way, then you aren’t losing the deal, so I guess you should go ahead with it.
Sludge: But you just said you thought I was losing the deal, so that seems like a contradiction to me. I just want to be sure here, that I am not losing this deal.
Shoeless: Sludge, why is it so important for you to not lose the deal? If you like it, and you want to do it, then go ahead – I don’t see the issue here.
Sludge: That’s right, I like the deal – I know I am overpaying, but I am getting Kopitar and couldn’t be happier. But if I or my trade partner, post the deal on Dobberhockey forums and guys start yipping about me losing the deal – well I just couldn’t live with that.
Shoeless: Ah, I see. Well, in that case I have a suggestion.
Sludge: What’s that?
Shoeless: Part of the deal could be an agreement that neither of you can post the deal on Dobberhockey. Issue solved.
Sludge: Yeah, I thought about that, but what’s the fun of doing a deal as big as this and not being able to get into a post-mortem on Dobberhockey about the deal?
Shoeless: Well, there’s that alright.
Sludge: Actually, I have an idea about how you can help me here. Once the deal is done and it gets posted on Dobberhockey, you could go into the thread and argue about how this was a win-win deal and that neither side lost it. Would you do that? – people really seem to listen to you when you talk about things like that. Then the whole thing will go down perfectly.
Shoeless: Wow Sludge, you had the solution the whole time we were talking and you held out on me, you little rascal. Sure, I'll do that.
Sludge: Wow, that was easy. I owe you big time.
Shoeless: No, not really.
Sludge: Why's that?
Shoeless: I own Kopitar in our league.

[horrorfan]

I love this latest one - superb Shoeless!

[Scribe]

I hope for Sludge's sake, Shoeless is making this up.

Sludge = Uncouth.

[Two On One]

Thanks Shoeless - I nearly pissed myself reading that last beauty while at work. Had to clench down while laughing to prevent any accidental leakage. Epic funny stuff...

[angus]

Love it, Shoe. I've come across many sludges in my fantasy career. I've probably played the role of sludge on occasion too.

[TwoPuckCanuck]

Just took a half hour at work to read through this thread start to finish. Great stuff Shoeless. Definitely dealt with my fair share of Sludge's.

"What? You don't want to trade the Sedin Twins for Bryzgalov and my 1st round pick?? But he just signed with Philly?".... That was yesterday... lol

[TheRook]

this thread is hilarious. keep em coming.

[Kickerz]

How many of you that have played in a pool with Shoeless, wonder if you might be his inspiration for some of these?

[bondon]

Heh, I haven't been in a pool with Shoeless, but I've definitely been "Sludge" on occasion, albeit definitely not as extreme haha.

[HockeyHobo]

I love this thread but I think it has put me off making trade offers for life, I don't want to become a sludge (Unless I am one already )

[Shoeless]

Shoeless: Hello, Sludge.
Sludge: Hey Shoeless, how did you know it was me calling?
Shoeless: Caller ID. Hey man, how’s it going?
Sludge: Well, not great. I’m a little miffed that you rejected that trade offer of Kulemin for Perry.
Shoeless: Why would that miff you, Sludge? Do you think Kulemin is fair value for Perry?
Sludge: Oh hell no, I know that deal isn’t going to get accepted. It was just to get the ball rolling, you know - a place to start negotiations. But you didn’t counteroffer, like what’s that all about? Why wouldn’t you give me the courtesy of a counteroffer?
Shoeless: Uh, mostly because I don’t want to trade Perry.
Sludge: Well yeah, I know you don’t want to trade him, but is it so difficult to come up with a counteroffer, so that I have the opportunity to convince you of the value I am prepared to give you for him?
Shoeless: Sorry man, I screwed up. I thought Kulemin was the value you wanted to give for him.
Sludge: Come on, Shoeless, that’s really lame, you know you don’t give your best offer or even a good one on the first go around. It’s more just symbolic of expressing interest in your player – then you get to the meat and potatoes through counteroffers and counter-counteroffers.
Shoeless: I see. Guess I have lots to learn. So help me out here, if I was going to do a good counteroffer, what level of player in relation to Perry would I come back with for this thing to work right?
Sludge: Well, I guess if you came back asking for a player with more value than Perry then it would set the high side of the negotiations, where I set the low side with Kulemin. But to be honest, if you expect a deal to get done, you probably should come back asking for a player of slightly less value than Perry – not much, just a little. Then I am encouraged to fully engage in the process and really dig deep to come up with a better offer to meet you part way. That would encourage me to bargain in good faith.
Shoeless: Okay, I can sort of see how this thing works. But Sludge, I have a question.
Sludge: Fire away.
Shoeless: Can you give me a good reason why I would want to trade Perry for a player of less value than him?
Sludge: Well, it’s not a good idea generally, but occasionally you have to lose some value in a deal to get a deal done. Sometimes you have to compromise to make things work.
Shoeless: Hmmm. Not making a lot of sense to me. I really think a counteroffer by me would have to favor me to some extent, don’t you think?
Sludge: Well I guess if that’s how you want to negotiate, I suppose so. So how about it? If I resend the offer, will you at least be courteous and counteroffer, even if the player you ask for is higher in value than Perry?
Shoeless: Yeah, I guess I can do that. Shoot it over.

Day later …

Shoeless: Hello, Sludge.
Sludge: Hey Shoeless, how did you know it was me calling?
Shoeless: Caller ID. So what’s happening?
Sludge: Well I got your counteroffer on the Perry trade and I am absolutely outraged at the disrespect you have shown me with the counteroffer. You must be off your nut to expect that I would give you Crosby straight up for Perry. What the heck are you thinking about?
Shoeless: Well, actually I was just trying to bracket things for a good negotiation. Do you think the gap between Perry and Crosby is bigger than the gap between Kulemin and Perry?
Sludge: That is not the point, you don’t go after one of a guy’s best players with a garbage offer like that. What am I supposed to think? Do you think I am so weak- minded that I might even consider accepting an offer like that?
Shoeless: But,
Sludge: Don’t interrupt, I am not done. You know, this doesn’t even warrant a counteroffer from me. I am totally flabbergasted that you would even think Perry and Crosby are in the same ballpark as far as value is concerned. Guys like you are impossible to deal with. Forget it – I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Click!

Shoeless: Sigh!

[dyzfunctioned]

Oh Sludge.

Loving these!