Q:Let's talk some hockey. What did you make of P.K. Subban’s return?
A: Every bit as emotional as I assumed it would be, man. A lot of us are f-----' very pissed, still. I will make peace with it at some point, but I will never forgive that team for it. That is, for me, what Patrick Roy is for my dad. My mom still talks about that night, where Dad turned to her and said, “We’ll never win the Stanley Cup again.” Pat Roy’s last shift. You’ll never root against your team, but goddamnit, you get a bigger and bigger chip on your shoulder every year. There are times when I wish I was a fan of a normal team that didn’t have to suffer all they myriad things. Any other team needs a coach and it’s, “Who’s the best guy we can get?” All these different f----‘ caveats that go into being a Habs fan. I adore it, it’s my life, there’s nothing better than the Habs, but [expletive] that head office doesn’t make it easy.
Q: Take me back to the moment you heard of the P.K. trade.
A: I was in my house here in the Beach and I had to go to Montreal the next morning to do post-production on Goon. I went crazy. I did my Donald Trump four-tweet storm that ended with, “Call me old fashioned, but I enjoy P.K. Subban play hockey much more than I enjoy Michel Therrien coach hockey.” I land in Montreal [and] I’m venting my frustration on Montreal sports radio the next morning.
Q: Your reaction to the Habs' making a coaching change while in first place?
A: Huge. The Therrien thing is a hard one. You can’t dispute that record. His results are his results, and that’s f-----' something. But, in practice, it’s the least exciting hockey I’ve ever seen, and I was a season ticket holder during the first Therrien era. So when it was wide open and anybody [could’ve coached], for my money Patrick Roy should’ve come home.
Q: You don’t like Claude Julien?
A: We got rid of him the first time for a reason. But, he is an incredible coach and one of the more successful coaches in the league in recent years. The minute the Bruins got rid of him, everyone I knew was like, “So, does that mean we can fire Michel Therrien?” No matter what, it’s a drastic improvement, and we got way bigger last Wednesday [at the trade deadline], which is a real improvement.
Q: No scorer, though.
F---. We’ve been one scorer away for the bulk of my adult life. Is Richer our last 50-goal guy? Not that there are many 50-goal guys period, but f--- yeah, man. We get tremendous offence and then we’re the Smurfs and everyone gives us s--- for being too small. They we try to get bigger and everyone says we can’t score. You’re kinda damned if you do, damned if you don’t. For my money, Michael Cammalleri should still be in a Habs jersey. We left so much money on the table and what did we gain?