Getting married on Friday... Advise?

[theIceWookie]

Don't check your pools on your wedding day.
.

Hehe this is my favorite one so far. Obvious, yet still quite funny since I know almost anyone on this site would be tempted to do so if they were getting married during the season

[theIceWookie]

As everyone else said, he asked us not to be naysayers about marriage. Marriage is becoming one person. There are risks in everything on this planet. Trusting another person on the level of marriage is one of the boldest and hardest things to do in life. The rewards are great.

I married someone I loved when I was 31. I had known her for a year. I thought she was my best friend, lover, companion, support system and everything I thought i could want in a woman. There was one thing I over looked. I think it was my immaturity, my lack of self respect or worth, my wanting to be married and having children.... She asked me to marry her. I said yes and 3 weeks later we were married. What I didn't realize was that she wanted to marry me because I was a sweet guy and I treated her right. The problem is that, it was the only reason. SHe didn't love me, care for me, support me like I needed. She hit me, verbally abused me and ended up cheating on me. I lost my job and 3 months later the marriage ended. I was devastated, homeless (sorta, moved in with my best friend, his wife and two kids), and penniless.

Here I am, 4 or so years later. ready to propose to the most wonderful girl I have ever met. Why?! I get that questions a lot. People who I know that have gone through divorce and would never be married again.

For me, I can't wait to share my life with someone (obvi my girlfriend). Waking up together, making decisions together, and raising children together. There is nothing that makes me happier (with the exception of fantasy hockey of course).

I guess my point is: We all have stories, we all have our pain, our joy and our lives to live. Live your life with who you want and don't ever let anyone tell you differently. The perceptions of modern day society have no reflection on any one relationship. Follow your heart and you will be happy.

Thanks for sharing your story and specifically the hope you have for your life with your girlfriend now. I'm going through a particularly hard breakup (with similar parallels to your marriage) and it just gives me some hope.

[Bomm Bastic]

With all due respect, this sounds like you have a "quitters attitude"
Rather than work out your problems with your other half, its easier to just quit. With that attitude you could lose the best thing that ever walked in your life, without you knowing it.

To me this is just an immature stance.

I don't care about marriage one way or another really. I am not religious, but I am married. And I think proposing to your other half (especially if that other half is a woman) shows her you are in it for the real deal. Now, before I proposed I did have some "requirements" to be met. This sounds silly, but I wanted to make sure we really were on the same page. For example, one of my requirements was we go to Holland together, so I could see how she handled MY culture and where I come from. There were a couple other things, and once I had my "checklist" if you wanna call it that completed I proposed. More important than having a trophy wife, is a wife with similar interests. Now don't get me wrong, looks are important too, but you really gotta find a balance.

I think when you are married you will fight harder to make it work, than just "b/f, g/f" .

We've been married for 4 years and have some kids now. We communicate very well, and if we fight it is about absolutely useless stuff. We NEVER fight over finances, which is one of the keys to a successful marriage IMO.

And you know what, its good to fight with your spouse. If all you ever did was agree on everything, I don't believe that's right either. Yes, respect eachother, but don't be afraid to stand your ground once in a while. A good fight is good sometimes, and the make up part even better haha.

Anyways, I'm rambling a bit here, so I'll leave it at that.

That...is a great post. My wife and I have been married for six, and dated/lived together for six prior. We laugh (at me mostly), love, argue daily if not weekly and I wouldn't have it any other way.

BUT one thing I will say that I firmly believe is central to our relationship ...we never make the arguments personal AND once they're done, they're done for good. No lingering or holding grudges allowed. Compromise, swallow some pride and move on.

[Stringer]

Thanks to everyone for the advise and experiences!
I am literally BLOWN AWAY by the class you guys have. Taking time to share your experiences, just so that a complete stranger can strive for a stronger future marriage... Priceless. Wonderful advise in this thread - believe me I have read all your replies. I'll remember the generosity and try to pay it forward next time I have the chance.

All the best!

[Axeman33]

Good luck today Stringer.

Enjoy the day but remember, this is all about her. Today is her day even though you are both participating.

[Gaborlick]

Thanks for sharing your story and specifically the hope you have for your life with your girlfriend now. I'm going through a particularly hard breakup (with similar parallels to your marriage) and it just gives me some hope.

Good luck, It is hard. Hopefully you have a good support system to help you through it. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for my best friend and his wife. Not only did they give me a home and a family, they reminded me how marriage is supposed to be and their love for each other, and even for me, healed me.

[Dutch]

hope your day is awesome today buddy!

[The Guvnah]

Hope you have a great day Stringer! I haven't looked through what everyone has said, but my advice is don't change a thing. You're with this girl for a reason. Make her laugh, and be open with her. Above all else, though... (and I'm assuming that every dude on this website has gotten his girl because he's funny or witty) just make her laugh.

[Magicstew]

Hope you had a great day Stringer!
The Question is did you check Dobber or your hockey pool Friday

[Stringer]

Hope you had a great day Stringer!
The Question is did you check Dobber or your hockey pool Friday

Had a Blast! Wedding was great, everyone had fun.
My wife was Beautiful!

I stayed away from Pools on the big day, but did sneak a morning read of the ramblings on Dobber Haha

[Call of Doughty]

Congrats on the big I do. I've been hitched for just under a year now and it's been wonderful. Just say "yes dear" a lot and nod your head from time to time. And honey-do lists really do exist.

[dooley89]

Congrats Stringer!
What an epic thread!

I'm getting married this summer and enjoyed reading every post in this thread!
Thanks!