2013-14 All All-Disappointment Team

[Darren_Kennedy]

I recently dropped a post over at www.darrenfantasyhockey.com. Thought I'd share it here.

The truism of all truisms in fantasy sports (and heck, maybe in life) is “haters gonna hate”. Now, sometimes the haters turn on a particular player for no good reason (I’m not entirely sure what Larry Murphy did to everyone). But, in most cases there are at least a few facts that point towards a guy being a disappointment.


As the season comes to a close and I see more and more tweets to the effect of “$%@& that player, I just got eliminated from my playoffs” it seems like the right time to release an All-Disappointment squad for 2014-15.


I can’t make players perform better (try as I might) and I definitely can’t hypnotize Dany Heatley and convince him it is actually 2006 (I would hope that Minnesota has legitimately tried this) but at least we can be together in our misery.




Note: David Clarkson has been left off this list because it was simply too obvious. He will however have a place on the all-AHL disappointment team list in 2 years’ time – stay tuned.


Center – Henrik Sedin


I don’t think the Sedins have suddenly become “bad” hockey players. Yes, they are 33, which can be a scary age in the world of athletic decline, but they are still very useful pieces.


The issue is that their fantasy value over the years has been built on two things – power play points and absurdly positive plus minus. Unfortunately, plus minus is by and large a team statistic and Vancouver is sitting 10th in the West. As a result Henrik is only plus 6, for most players a decent number, but he doesn’t do much of anything in categories like shots or penalty minutes, and plus 6 is barely above average. The super, awesome, mighty Canucks power play of yesteryear is down to 27th (14.9%) in the NHL. Which is undoubtedly dragging down Henrik’s overall totals (46 points in 65 games).


I’m not ready to outright dismiss them as useful assets. But we’ll need to collectively re-jig our expectations for both, especially Henrik.


Left Wing – Joffrey Lupul


Apparently playing on a line with one of the top 10 scorers in hockey can have a positive impact on your fantasy production – who knew! Lupul has looked like a significant point producer at times, including 18 in the admittedly small sample size of 16 games last year. You could have also been fooled by ESPN The Body Issue and assumed he was showing up to camp in the best shape possible.


There was reason to believe he would stay up alongside Kessel and the chosen one Tyler Bozak for multiple seasons. However, Carlyle has experimented with Lupul on the second line, alongside Kadri, which evidently doesn’t pack nearly the offensive punch. Coincidentally JVR suddenly appears to be a 70 point, 240 shot player. The Kessel effect, it’s a scientific thing.


44 points in 66 games isn’t bad, and you know he’ll chip in a few shots and decent penalty minute totals for a skilled forward, but he isn’t the guy we thought he might be in Toronto. Lupul is a good reminder that drafting players based in large part on their position in the lineup can be a risky proposition.


Right Wing – Dany Heatley


I know what you’re thinking. Why don’t you just tell me that Tom Cruise has become a bad actor. What’s with the lazy analysis Darren? What are you just trying to hit a word count and tossed Heatley in there as a gimmie?


Firstly, that hurts, shame on you for thinking those things about my writing (on an unrelated note, if I’m forced to watch one more trailer for a movie in which Tom Cruise saves the word from something – aliens, robots, pirates, himself…etc I’m going to swear off movies forever. What happened to Jerry McGuire, WHERE IS HE!?)


Secondly, Heatley actually does fall into the disappointment category this year. There was some talk in training camp that he was “in the best shape of his life”. A sad cliché that I invariably fall for at least once each pre-season.


Of course despite getting our hopes up (“It’s a contract year, he’ll be trying his hardest!”) the production has been as bad as we’ve ever seen. The guys over at Dobber hockey have taken to referring to him as “Heatley’s corpse”. It’s tough to blame them, the Heatley I know was once drafted first overall in fantasy and has multiple 50 goal seasons.


He’s currently sitting at 27 points in 74 games. Sure, he’ll sign somewhere in the offseason. I’ll be reminded that he’s only 33 and end up bumping him up a few rounds on my board only to be disappointed again. The reality: It’s over kids, he’s done.


Defencemen – Mark Streit


I had to look this up but did you know Streit has actually broken 60 points before? Back in 2007-08 with the Canadians he hit 62 and added 165 shots. A lot of his residual value today is probably related to that outburst.


Unfortunately, guys get old, and he has been on earth for 36 revolutions around the sun. There is still some value in Streit, he’s getting minutes in Philadelphia and is under contract for a few more seasons. However, his days as a number two option are likely over. Maybe a low end three or high end four in some formats. I’m sure many poolies were burned at the draft table after some media hype followed him around in the offseason.


You always have to tread carefully with defencemen that don’t fill shots or penalty minutes regularly. They become so dependent on point production that when they dip, even a bit, they become waiver wire fodder with no peripheral categories on which to fall back on.


Defencemen – Alex Edler


I’m only acknowledging him because it would have been wrong to leave him off this list. 19 points and a minus 33 rating is just dreadful and probably destroyed your defensive group (if you haven’t dropped him yet).


Saying that, I think Edler is a victim of circumstance here. He dealt with some injuries and Vancouver has been a mess offensively. He is still shooting (160 in 58 games) and is sporting a 3.8% shooting percentage (well below his career average of 5.4%). He’ll be a useful piece again next year, don’t dismiss him in the late rounds.


Goalie – Craig Anderson


Anderson is a funny case (well, funny in a “ruined your entire fantasy season” type of way). After the draft a friend of mine, whose opinion I respect very much, argued that Anderson was one of the ten best goalies in fantasy. I argued against it. Stating that his sample size as a starter was too small and that he’d be challenged by Lehner for starts.


It’s nice to be right sometimes (note: I’m wrong a ton of the time too, but I’ve got to celebrate the odd win!)


Anderson has quite simply been a disaster. Only 23 wins, a goals against average of 3.04, and save percentage of .910. Those would be strong totals in the mid-1980s if you were in the Western Conference often facing Edmonton – but he wasn’t and time travel isn’t possible….. or is it?


I feel for poolies who took him as a low end number one or high end back up. Goalies are almost impossible to replace via trade since they’re a scarce resource in most leagues. With Anderson entering the final year of his deal and hitting that awkward age of 33 in May I don’t know what the future holds. My guess is a time split (either in Ottawa or elsewhere) but his days as a premier starter may be done (Of course putting that in writing all but guarantees he claims the Vezina next year. You’re welcome, Craig).

[Axeman33]

Good list.

I think Hank Sedin bounces back after a coaching change comes around in the off season.

You could have probably inserted a few Oilers on that team too. Justin Schultz?

[rataylor22]

Nope. Can't go with this list with Dany Heatley on it. First time fantasy players maybe were expecting more, but nobody who did some research into fantasy hockey expected anything. Even with the "best shape of his life" comments, there was simply no room for him on the depth chart. Coyle had already passed him by training camp.

[mounD]

Dany Heatley is a zombie?

[CarbombCarcillo]

Where is Eric Staal?????

[Shake]

DK, good write-up.

Yakupov wants on the list!

[STONE.]

Agreed with rataylor on Heatley. I'd argue against J. Lupul as well -- he could hit 50, which is perfectly in line with what he's done in his career. Injuries have generally been the reason, but it'd been foolish to expect much more coming into the season. Outside of a big year a couple years ago, he's never put it all together -- and he even missed a dozen games that year.

[Dobber]

Nope. Can't go with this list with Dany Heatley on it. First time fantasy players maybe were expecting more, but nobody who did some research into fantasy hockey expected anything. Even with the "best shape of his life" comments, there was simply no room for him on the depth chart. Coyle had already passed him by training camp.

I have to agree. I laughed at a guy in my pool when he acquired Heatley. He can't be on this list. I also don't think Lupul should be on this list, because injuries made him touch and go to begin with.

That being said, I can't criticize two guys on this list without providing replacements (ahem, rataylor)

So I'll throw Tomas Fleischmann's hat in the ring. Also extremely disappointed with Jordan Staal

[STONE.]

I have to agree. I laughed at a guy in my pool when he acquired Heatley. He can't be on this list. I also don't think Lupul should be on this list, because injuries made him touch and go to begin with.

That being said, I can't criticize two guys on this list without providing replacements (ahem, rataylor)

So I'll throw Tomas Fleischmann's hat in the ring. Also extremely disappointed with Jordan Staal

Ha! I was going to say Flash as well, but I've been so jaded by his brutal season that I'm starting to wonder if I was naive going into this season.

T. Fleischmann - not expecting PPG, but this season has been a disaster
M. Ribeiro - I knew he'd take a hit moving from Washington, but come on!
A. Ovechkin - Top 4 talent; not top ten scoring. I get no bonus from his goals, and his points have disappeared when most needed.
B. Campbell - Not what you'd expect, especially with minutes and PP time
A. Goligoski - Such a tease. Second half has been MUCH better, but hasn't made up for the brutal start
B. Holtby - I was all-in on him after last season. I think Oates and the Caps goalie coaches have ruined a potential star. Canada's Camp to Backup in one year.

That's just from MY DYNASTY KEEPER, but I think they all fit the bill pretty solidly.

[Pengwin7]

Decent list... but in that RW slot you gotta go with Rick Nash (35.8), Yakupov (48.9), Gaborik (60.2), or Loui Eriksson (59.8) over Dany Heatley (127.5).
ADP, per Yahoo!, is in brackets.

Heatley has been on NO keen fantasy hockey GMs radar for two+ years now.

[Magicstew]

I would throw Alex Burrows on the list too. Maybe 2nd team

[rataylor22]

I have to agree. I laughed at a guy in my pool when he acquired Heatley. He can't be on this list. I also don't think Lupul should be on this list, because injuries made him touch and go to begin with.

That being said, I can't criticize two guys on this list without providing replacements (ahem, rataylor)

So I'll throw Tomas Fleischmann's hat in the ring. Also extremely disappointed with Jordan Staal

Fair point Dobbs! I was thinking that as I typed my response, I unfortunately had a tough time finding a replacement! If this was the offseason where I was more focused on everyone and less focused on my team I would have a better time of it.

Not a RW, but let me throw Zetterberg in the ring. He's been good when he's healthy, but man I gotta think his injuries have left owners disappointed.

[blayze]

I'm sorry but I think this is a pretty poor list. You're picking on obvious has-beens and bandaid boys.

I don't think Andy, Heater, Lupes or Streit belong on the list. Disappointing sure... but MOST disappointing? Far from it.

-For starters, at LW i'd have Sedin's twin... Daniel who has been just as, if not MORE disappointing than Henrik. What was it... 25 games without a goal?
-Heater is just a bad choice and there are many other better candidates as mentioned above.
-Streit is old as **** - he had his moments, but over the last 3 seasons he's been average. Not sure what you were expecting of him.
-Defense? Has to be ENSTROM hands down, or even Phaneuf who has almost the same amount of points as last season despite playing double the games.
-Andy? He hasn't been stellar, but he's far from the most dsappointing. He's had some pretty good runs this season actually. I think if he didn't get injured twice, he would had an ok season.
-Most disappointing goalie has to go to Holtby hands down IMO.

So to recap: I'd swap Lupul, Heater, Streit and Andy with:
-Daniel Sedin
-Yakupov
-Enstrom
-Holtby

Now that's your list.

[Dakkster]

I'm looking for Dustin Brown. Has anyone seen him? He's been lost all season!

[Bomm Bastic]

Daniel Sedin for me. At .6 pts/game? How is he not on that list?

EDIT: Eric Staal too....oh, and every team needs a coach so Torts has that dubious honor.